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Asim

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Soe of you might have read these Jokes on community in another topic before, i cant track them all so here it is again :)

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.

Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.

again twins & named Max & Climax.

Again. annoyed Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.

Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the

Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been

promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure

as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote : "Yes!"

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.

U know Why?

Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It"s already raining.

Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -

What will come first, Chicken or egg?

O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr

after deducting tax.

Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs back.!

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call

modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?

Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

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ASIM... HELARIOUS..! GOOD THING ESP AT THSI TIME WHEN I M IN OFFICE :)

:laugh:

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If Movies Were Released by Microsoft.......

* Munna Bhai MCSE

* Kal MSN Ho Na Ho

* Love in mIRC

* ID Mil Gaya

* Chat To Kero

* Ek Programmer Thi

* Yeh Hack Horaha Hai

* Hum Pyar PC Se Kar Baithe

* Network Ke Us Paar

* Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

* Aao Chat Kare

* C++ Wale Job Le Jayenge

* Programmer No.1

* Mera Naam Developer

* Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein

* Do Processor, Baarah Terminal

* Tera Code Chal Gaya

* Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

* Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehtha Hai

* Raju Ban Gaya MCSD

* Client Ek Numbari, C ++Programmer Dus Numbari

* Login Karo Sajana

* Naukar PC Ka

* 1942 -- A Bug Story

* Kaho Na Virus Hai

* Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

* Shaheed Hacker Singh

* Password De Ke Dekho

* Terminal Apna , Login Parayi

* Mr. Network Lal

* Terminal Sajaake Rakhna

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mm nice

SANTA N BANTA SINGH

Santa and Banta are two friends and Santa Singh has a very good job.

Banta Singh is jobless and one day asks Santa to help him get some

good Job. Santa singh says, "OK, next time we will apply together."

and they do.On interview day, Santa Singh says, "First I will go

inside and answer all questions except the last one,and after coming

out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in

and answer everything. You will get the Job. So, Santa goes in

EMPLOYER: When did we get independence?

SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947.

EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM?

SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Manmohan Singh.

EMPLOYER: Ok, last question, What's India's population?

SANTA: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question,

Research is going on, and when I know,I will tell you, Sir. Now he

comes out and tells the questions and answers to Banta Singh. Banta

Singh(True SARDAR that he is) remembers all answers and forgets the

questions. He goes in Now.

EMPLOYER: When were you born?

BANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.

EMPLOYER: What???? Who is your father?

BANTA: It changes daily and these days its Manmohan Singh.

EMPLOYER (Now quite upset): Are you mad Mr.Banta?

BANTA: Good Question. Research is going on, and when I know, I will

tell you Sir.

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well maha that was very interesting and :laughing: funny it means aap bohot shararti ho :P other wise main samajhta tha ke aap bohot sanjida ho.

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ENGLISH OF A DESI TEACHER....

In class

* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.

* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.

* Cut an apple in two halfs- take the bigger half.

* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside

* Both of you three, get out of the class.

* Close the doors of the window.

* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.

* Take 5 cm wire of any length.

About family of that teacher

* I have two daughters both of them are girls

At the play ground

* All of you, stand in a straight circle.

* There is no wind in the balloon.

Punishment :

* You, rotate the ground four times

* You, go and under-stand the tree

* You three of you, stand together separately.

* Why you are late - say YES or NO

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How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM

1. Park the car

2. Check makeup

3. Turn off engine

4. Check makeup

5. Go to ATM

6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse

7. Insert card

8. Hit Cancel

9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it

10. Insert card

11. Enter PIN

12. Take cash

13. Go to car

14. Check makeup

15. Start car

16. Stop car

17. Run back to ATM

18. Take ATM card

19. Back to car

20. Check makeup

21. Start car

22. Check makeup

23. Drive for 1/2 mile

24. Release handbrake

25. Drive on. :):):)

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:lol::laughing:

let the airforce come in... stright circle! gosh thx Majid it really helped me changing my mood at this time :D

cus in my office our window doors are closed and we are sitting in stright Zig zag :lol:

Edited by NaDaN

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no problem it's my pleasure to have appreciation from u :dontsad:

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well it was nice wesay majid aap k iss joke se pata chalta hey that aap ki english kitney high standard ki hey :laughing:

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Waseey majid yar! ab larkian itni buri bhi nahi raheen now they know wat r they doin

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well maha thanx for ur appreciation and tareef of my english language bas ji main ne kabhi gharoor nahin kiya B)

well choudry aap sahe keh rahe hoon gay. :)

Edited by majid

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SANTA SINGH

Santa Singh goes to a tv shop & ask'Aap k pass color tv hey kia?

Haan'' replies shopowner.

Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

A Sardar, a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert.

They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.

The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and

the Sardar took the door.

After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"

The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."

Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?" So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can

sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door.

The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets

hot all I have to do is roll down the window."

Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said ''I''m 1yr elder to you''.

Sardar said ''Oh! No Problem Soniye, I''ll marry you NEXT YEAR.

Sardar went to meet his Chinese friend who is dieing in hospital.

Man says CHIN YU YAN and then he dies.

Sardar goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

The Meaning is YOU ARE STANDNG ON THE OXYGEN TUBE! :laughing:

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Nice work Maha!

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thnx choudhry

Never Mess with Childeren

A class teacher of primary,one day braught a camera along with her to have some group photos of the childeren.One student asked "Mam why did you braught that camera?"the teacher exclaimed "to have our some group photos,so that,and when you people grown up these photos will make you to recall your childhood,and you will show it to your friends or relatives that see this is Martin he is now a Lawer and this is Rick he is a doctor now and this is Maria and she is a Journalist now",certainly a voice came forward from the back and "this is our class teacher she is dead now." :D

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Nice maha ... I love smart kids

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well good jokes maha bohot shararti ho gaee ho aap.

ik joke meri taraf se bhi tu arz kia hai ke

ik dafa sardar ji ka england jane ka ittefaq hota hai aur jab woh wapis ate hain tu ik 5 star hotel main beeth jate hain wahan waiter un ka jan ne wala mil jata hai tu sardar ji se kehta hai ke kya baat hai sardar ji aap tu england se ho ker aee hain tu english to aap ko bohor ati ho gi. tu sardar ji ne kaha haa ji kyun nahin jo poochna hai poocho.

waiter ne poocha ke is ki english batain.

" sadar bazar main goolian chal rahi theen"

sardar ji replied " the tablets were walking in the president market"

the waiter then asked

"aorat neeche khari hai"

sardar ji replied " miss understanding"

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nice majid

*~*~*2 Pagal *~*~*

Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumharay aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari.

Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.

:laughing::laughing::laughing:

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well its great joke maha

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ik dafa ik gaoon main ik jali per hota hai aur us ke bar main mashoor hota hai ke woh logoon ko murdoon (mare howe logoon) se baat karwata hai usi gaoon main ik shararti bacha rehta hai ik din woh bacha us nakli peer k pass jata hai aur kehta hai ke mujhe mere dada se baat kara doo tu per khta hi ke idhar aoo larka chala jatahai aur peer us ke ik kamree ke ander le jata hai wahan khta hai ke ab baat karo bacha poochta hai ke kya yeh mere dada ki rooh hai tu awaz ati hai ke haan main tumhare dada ki rooh hoon tu ab bacha chup ho jata hai peer kehta hai ke tum chup kyun ker gaee ho tu bacha kehta hai ke jab mere dada ki roh yahan hai tu ghar main dada abu kya ker rahe hain.

do dost apas main baat ker rahe the ke ik dost bola yaar meri bevi to itni mooti hai ke ik din woh wazan krne wali machine per charhi tu machine main se ik chit bahar aee jis pr likha tha ke ik admi machine se utar jaee

doosra dost bola yaar mri bevi itni mooti hai ke ik din dhobi kapre lene aya tu main ne us ko apni bevi k kapre de diye tu us ne kaha janab main kapree dhota hoon shamiyane nahin.

well ik dafa sarar ji duree per nehru sahab ke sath ja rahe the tu unhoon n nhru sahab se poocha ke janab auratoon s amooman kis tarah ki bateen kerni chahiyeen to nehru sahab ne jawab diya isi tarah ke maslan aap ki shadi ho gaee aap ke kitne bache hain......w aghera waghera so ik din srdar sahab kisi mehfil main beethe the ke un se ik aurat baat kerne k liy bqarar thi tu sardar ji ne us aurat se sawal kiya k aap ke bache hain tu aurat n kaha ji 2 bache hain tu sardr ji ne fooran agla sawal kiya ke kya aap ki shci ho gaee hai............

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