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rukh

2Nd Marriage

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Guess what Islam is not just about 4 weddings, in general persons who never follow the "main" orders of Islam says there is a permission of 4 weddings, in our society we just take things of our benefits from Islam and main purpose no body knows. The Qur'an is the only religious scripture in the world that says, "Marry only one".

My other main points are

If you are not giving rights to your first wife how can you give to second one and so on?

If you don't have time to spend with your first wife how you will manage with 4?

There are very rare chances that man deal justly with them.

Surah Nisa verse 129 says: "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...." [Al-Qur'an 4:129]

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire [interpretation of the meaning].

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This may help you understand the purpose of polygamy.

The shar’i text which permits plural marriage is:

Allaah says in His Holy Book (interpretation of the meaning):

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3]

This is a Qur’aanic text which shows that plural marriage is allowed. According to Islamic sharee’ah, a man is permitted to marry one, two, three or four wives, in the sense that he may have this number of wives at one time. It is not permissible for him to have more than four. This was stated by the mufassireen (commentators on the Qur’aan) and fuqaha’ (jurists), and there is consensus among the Muslims on this point, with no differing opinions.

It should be noted that there are conditions attached to plural marriage:

1 – Justice or fairness.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3]

This aayah is indicates that just treatment is a condition for plural marriage to be permitted. If a man is afraid that he will not be able to treat his wives justly if he marries more than one, then it is forbidden for him to marry more than one. What is meant by the justice that is required in order for a man to be permitted to have more than one wife is that he should treat his wives equally in terms of spending, clothing, spending the night with them and other material things that are under his control.

With regard to justice or fairness in terms of love, he is not held accountable for that, and that is not required of him because he has no control over that. This is what is meant by the verse,

“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire”

[al-Nisa’ 4:129 – interpretation of the meaning].

2 – The ability to spend on one’s wives:

The evidence for this condition is the verse:

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:33 – interpretation of the meaning]

In this verse Allaah commands those who are able to get married but cannot find the financial means, to remain chaste. One such example is not having enough money to pay the mahr (dowry) and not being able to spend on one’s wife. (al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 286).

Muhammad’s special marriage privileges

It seems that Allah gave Muhammad special permission to marry as many women as he desired or take them as slaves or concubines, just as in the pre-Islamic days of ignorance. In his own example and life, he seemed to perpetuate the pre-Islamic practices.

The Quran in Sura 33:50 grants Muhammad wide latitude in his marriages:

O Prophet, We have made lawful to you those of your wives, whose dowers you have paid, and those women who come into your possession out of the slave-girls granted by Allah, and the daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts, and of your maternal uncles and aunts, who have migrated with you, and the believing woman who gives herself to the Prophet, if the Prophet may desire her. This privilege is for you only, not for the other believers . . . . (Maududi vol. 4, p. 111, emphasis added).

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Polygyny (polygyny means where a man marries more than one woman) is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to marry more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do's and Dont's.

(i) 'Farz' i.e compulsory

(ii) 'Mustahab' i.e recommended or encouraged

(iii) 'Mubah' i.e permissible

(iv) 'Makruh' i.e 'not recommended' or discouraged

(v) 'Haram' i.e prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

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Surah Nisa verse 129 says: "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...." [Al-Qur'an 4:129]

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire [interpretation of the meaning].

well the meanings of this ayah is not that which u wrote ... but its tafseer exactly wat u post in your 2nd post

With regard to justice or fairness in terms of love, he is not held accountable for that, and that is not required of him because he has no control over that. This is what is meant by the verse,

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire

[al-Nisa 4:129 interpretation of the meaning].

jis cheez main Allah hee hisaab nahi lay raha to kisi insaan ko bhi ikhtiyar nahi k lay ..

mere topic main 2nd marriege ik khaas condition k saath hai ..na k aam mozoo hai k dosre ya teesre shadi per ...aysay main kia fasila hona chaeye sawal yeh hay ....jub ik muslmaan khatoon aisai masaail ka shikaar hain to aysay main dosree muslman awrat apna zarf kitna bara kerte hai ..jub k is bat k aytmanan hay k us k husband khuda khofee ka ahsas rakhtay hoyee na insaafe na karain gay !

Edited by rukh

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Justice and Fairness doesn't comes in terms of love, its comes in every aspect which human is accountable for like i mentioned in post he is giving no time to one and giving more time to 2nd, Financially he is spending more on one and less on other. When he has children from first wife he should first meet their needs. If he is kind with one and rude with other. Man is accountable for all these things (including love and care). I never heard that Allah will not ask you if you dont love your family and if you are not kind with them.

My post was in response to mansoor's post above.

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this question basically for all ladies ..men can support this with thier views..

well ladies ..what will be your thoughts or reaction when your husband asking to you he want to marry with other women ( divorced or widow ..if she has a baby from her first husband too)

so your husband relation with you is very loyal ...loving ..life is complete and smooth ...his intention towards this 2nd marriage decision just for help that women or her family ...he knows her family personaly and he feels to do this with good intention ....

he asking your permission ,,your good support ...with his....and when you know already your,s husband nature that he is not dil phaink or emotional men who take this decision without thinking about responsibilities or managaing balance in future btween both wives

what do u feel ? do u open your heart to that women ? and can u say welcome her in your life ?

just want to know your thoughts in that condition !

Asalam o alikum Rukh,

App ka topic bohot interesting aur conclusion par mabni ha. Pheli bat ha ke agar koi husband is tarha apni wife se pochta ha to us ki wife kabhi bhi aisa nahi hone de gi kyoun k us ne app ke sath aik achi life guzari ha. Sab se bari baat ke aik aurat yeh bat bardasht kar hi nahi sakti chahe us ka husband us ki jaan se bhi ziada pyar krta ho. Wife hargiz nahi chahe gi ke aisa ho chahe us ke husband kitni hi sharif aur zarorat mand aurat se shadi karna chahte ho.

According to mansoor bhai agar un ko moqa milay shadi ka to woh dosri zaror kare ge. yeh un ki apna decision ha. Magar main aisa har giz nahi kar sakta. Kyoun k app ki apni wife ke sath bohot hi ziada attachment hoti ha itni umar guzari pyar, muhabbat sab kuch banta magar at the end agar yeh bat app apni wife se kahe ge to this is very shoked for your wife.

Anyways rukh i like your topic. :victory:

Thanks you

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According to mansoor bhai agar un ko moqa milay shadi ka to woh dosri zaror kare ge. yeh un ki apna decision ha. Magar main aisa har giz nahi kar sakta. Kyoun k app ki apni wife ke sath bohot hi ziada attachment hoti ha itni umar guzari pyar, muhabbat sab kuch banta magar at the end agar yeh bat app apni wife se kahe ge to this is very shoked for your wife.

Dosra kisi ki dil azari kia gunnah nahi? bandoon ke haqooq tu Allah maaf nahi karega or na hi dil azari jaise gunah. Kia kisi ek ko khush karne ke liye apnoon ka dil tora jaa sakta hai? Pakistan main koi bhi wife aisi nahi hogi jo ye sun kar excited ho jae ke uska husband ek or shadi kar raha hai.

Mansoor ne 2nd 3rd 4th ka tu easily keh dia because 1st one is not reading his posts haina? :biggrin:

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Mansoor ne 2nd 3rd 4th ka tu easily keh dia because 1st one is not reading his posts haina? 

Lolzzz waqas :D

Apart from this i wont go in details as rukh can do this job better , she is better on Fiqqa as compared with me

So lets come to logic :

If i die today ( marna to haq hai ) ...... my wife , kid .. what would hapen ? will she always remain alone in this cruel society ( as a sacred widows like hindus ) every piece of joy and prosperity will be denied for her .. .. just Think (simulate it ! )

is this what has been happening in our past ?? kia shaba say ziada hum log Quran ki tafseer kar saktye hain ?? they knew what actually quran said better than whole humanity and tell me .. what sahaba would do when some women get widow or divorced ?

thirdly tell me how many sahaba had only one wife ? is the marriage only means JOY or do it also carries some social responsibilities ?

i believe there should always be some brave men to do this act bravery ! not for some joy but surely for a welfare and for a collective responsibility.

2nd marriage indeed is the greatest GIFT for women from ISlam that actually saves them ...

Edited by mansoor

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no offence but sab men ko islam 2nd 3rd aur 4th shadi par kyun yaad ata hai

i knw its allowed and nothing wrong with it but why islam on this ONLY

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Mansoor you mean to say its only your responsibility to marry widow? Suppose u marry 4 widows then what will happen to thousands of others? will they die? Everyone gets their rizq no matter single or widow and Allah can take care of them better.

Secondly you should talk about Pakistan not Arab countries where they have "habbit" of polygamy even before Islam they had many and even upto hundred of wives.

Why in Pakistan people look for single partner even after they have many kids and 1st wife is deceased? Its not their responsibility?

This is a never ending debate

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yes Laraib u r very right :D

thats what i am saying ....... As a women and wife they expect us good husband , they want us to be tru, helpful,fair etc etc as per ISLAM teaching ..... BUT jahan un kay haqooq hotee hain they care about islam , aur jahan Husband kay haqoq shuru hote hain .. ( 2nd marriage for instance ) they forget it !!!

if a husband is paying his all islamic duties he is fine and if he ask for one islamic right .. how can he be wrong ?

So all other parts of marital islam are acceptable ... except it ? specially if he is the one who can try doing justice

its geting intersting :D

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well waqas u r right again .... so here i can offer you to gather courage and u can do it too !!

agar sab log rat ko signal tor daitye hain .... to kia main bhee wohi karoon ga ..

" shikwaye zulmate shab say to behtar thaa

Apnye hissaye ki koee shammma jalatyee jatyeee .. "

was that Ghalib ? ;) anyone correct me !

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no offence but sab men ko islam 2nd 3rd aur 4th shadi par kyun yaad ata hai

i knw its allowed and nothing wrong with it but why islam on this ONLY

I have mentioned it already, Question is when you do wedding you do it hindu way but when you need permission you dont respect first wife and start looking at sahabah.

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well waqas u r right again .... so here i can offer you to gather courage and u can do it too !!

agar sab log rat ko signal tor daitye hain .... to kia main bhee wohi karoon ga ..

" shikwaye zulmate shab say to behtar thaa

Apnye hissaye ki koee shammma jalatyee jatyeee .. "

was that Ghalib ? ;) anyone correct me !

I think its matter of Life time not short as crossing a signal and I wont do it ever, i Love my lil Family :hug:

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May Allah keep you Happy and prosperous with your family :biggrin:

while we can continue this discussion about the "separated un lucky families "

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this question basically for all ladies ..men can support this with thier views..

well ladies ..what will be your thoughts or reaction when your husband asking to you he want to marry with other women ( divorced or widow ..if she has a baby from her first husband too)

so your husband relation with you is very loyal ...loving ..life is complete and smooth ...his intention towards this 2nd marriage decision just for help that women or her family ...he knows her family personaly and he feels to do this with good intention ....

he asking your permission ,,your good support ...with his....and when you know already your,s husband nature that he is not dil phaink or emotional men who take this decision without thinking about responsibilities or managaing balance in future btween both wives

what do u feel ? do u open your heart to that women ? and can u say welcome her in your life ?

just want to know your thoughts in that condition !

Aik insan meray sath sincere hai aur woh meri permssion chahta hai tou main us ka sath don ge aur uay na sirf aijazat don ge balkay har qadam pay us ka sath bhi don ge .... Kyn k kuch males tou 2nd marriage ki permission bhi nhi laitay aur shadi kar laitay hain.... Bas main yehi chahon ge k baad main bhi mujhay meray husband ka sath aur support rahay..... Aur islam bhi 2nd marriage ki aijazat daita hai k tou main kon hoti hon mana karnay waali ....

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awww waqas bhai thts so sweet and you are right aswell k yah koi doll house nae k u break one and get a new from market

its a matter of life ...........keep in mind the kids can also question you one day k

why 2 marriages ya phr 3 ya phr 4 whn there is no need

but still i wud agree with you mansoor k if they do it they shud deal fairly with all 4

waisay mansoor bhai mujhay lag ra hai you gona do 4 ;) hahahah was a joke

but still marrying is not joke and as rukh mentioned that the if the women haves a baby wud that man

be able to give the same rights to that baby as he would give to his children

no never they do say oh we will but one it comes to put in practice ............they never do it;)

Edited by Laraib

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Thanks mansoor :flower4u:

Still we can help widows in many ways (without marrying if you are already married), connecting them to the right family, financial and moral support etc

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Thanks mansoor :flower4u:

Still we can help widows in many ways (without marrying if you are already married), connecting them to the right family, financial and moral support etc

:yes::yes::yes: agree with you

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Thanks mansoor :flower4u:

Still we can help widows in many ways (without marrying if you are already married), connecting them to the right family, financial and moral support etc

u r absoultely right about it waqas bro, its not as tht simple cuz its not just about two or 3 woman and guy, its about 3 famileies and children.

we all knw tht in any maraige or relationship complications its the children who suffer the most. and no matter how nice a woman is, but a mom will never let her children suffer specaily not in our society.

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SAB LOAG WAQAS SAHAB JAISE SOACHNE LAG JAYEIN TU DUNYA KITNI ACHI HO JAYE WAQAS SAHAB I LIKE UR THINKING WAISE YEH BAAT MAIN KEHNA CHAHON GI K AGER KISI NE 2ND MARRIAGE KA SOCH HI LIYA HAI TU WOH INSAAN PHIR KAR K HI RAHE GA CHAHE PERMISSION MILAY YA NA MILAY IS LIYE BEHTER YEH HAI K APP KA HUSBAND APP KO CHOR DE APP EJAZAT DE DO KAM SE KAM APNE GHAR MAIN APNE HUBBY K SAATH TU LIFE GUZAR SAKEIN GI KYUN K LERKI K PASS EJAZAT DENAY K SIWA KOI RASTA HI NHI REH JATA BCOZ SHAADI K BAAD AMMA ABBA KA GHAR BHI TU APP KA NHI REH JATA AMMA ABBA PE UN K GHAR JA K BOOJH BANAY SE BEHTAR HAI EJAZAT DE DO CHAHE KITNA HI KYUN NA KURTAY RAHO KYUN K AGER KISI NE 2ND MARRIAGE KA SOCH LIYA HAI TU AUS K LIYE APP KO CHORNA KUCH SECONDS YA MINUTES KI BAAT HO GI AUR APP KI PURI LIFE KHARAB BECHARI LERKIYOON KI TU KOI LIFE HI NHI HAI AMMA ABBA K HAAN HOTI HAIN TU AMMI ABBU BHAI BEHAN LOAG SARAY FAISLE KERTE HAIN UN KI LIFE K AUR HUSBAND K HAAN HOON TU HUBBY SAB FAISLE KARTE HAIN CHAHE ACHA HO YA BURA MATLAB LERKI KI KOI MERZI HI NHI POUCHTA VERY BAD MERE JAISE WIFE HO TU EJAZAT TU DE DE BUT BOLE AB JAYE AUSI KAALI KALITI K PASS REHYE AUR MAIN TU ZEHER KHA K MAR JAOON BCOZ MAIN ITNI INSULT BERDASHT NHI KER SAKTI MATLAB ITNE SAAL DONO SAATH RAHE APP KI KOI AHMIYAT HI NHI HAI APP K HUBBY K SAMNE QPP KI MATLAB APP KUCH HASIYAT HI NHI RAKHTI APNE HUBBY K SAMNE JABHI TU DOSRI LERKI KA KHAYAL AYA

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hai hai zeher khain dushman mehek pagal larki

well am not sure someone have to be in that situation to feel whts going on around

but in pak i knw for a fact men dont mind asking women for permission

alright its for a good cause but wht if the man does this good cause 4 times in life

tht would not be acceptable :blush:

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this question basically for all ladies ..men can support this with thier views..

well ladies ..what will be your thoughts or reaction when your husband asking to you he want to marry with other women ( divorced or widow ..if she has a baby from her first husband too)

so your husband relation with you is very loyal ...loving ..life is complete and smooth ...his intention towards this 2nd marriage decision just for help that women or her family ...he knows her family personaly and he feels to do this with good intention ....

he asking your permission ,,your good support ...with his....and when you know already your,s husband nature that he is not dil phaink or emotional men who take this decision without thinking about responsibilities or managaing balance in future btween both wives

what do u feel ? do u open your heart to that women ? and can u say welcome her in your life ?

just want to know your thoughts in that condition !

well mere khayal mein aisa nahi hona chahiye...agar koi widow or divorcee hai bhi toh iske liye married man he kiyun why not an unmarried?

if u are willing to make this society a better place to live toh aur bhi bohat se raaste hain...aur apko yeh bhi sochna chahiye jo insaan apke sath hai yani apki wife usse bhi bura lage ga...phir chahe koi kitna he fraag dil kiyun na ho koi aurat aisa nahi chahe gi...haan shayad ek baar emotional hoke woh apko shadi ki ijaazt de bhi de...lekin sari zindagi iska afsos usse apne dil mein rahega...

ek mom bhi aksar apne kids mein kahin na kahin na insaafi kar deti hai yeh toh phir wife ki baat hai...social work theek hai...magar aisa social work kis kaam ka jahan ek insaan ki help karne ki khuwahish mein aap doosray ko hurt karo...

khair yeh bas meri soch hai kahan tak theek hai pata nahi...

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Woman hate's woman!... Oh GOD, such a creul ...BUT... beautiful woman!.......

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