ibtisaam 0 Posted January 16, 2006 (edited) salam... girlzzz... ek sawal hamesha mere dimag mein tik tik tik tik karta hai... ki log arrange marriage kaise kar lete hain... achanak ek din...kisi ki tasweer dikhai jaati hai...aur bas... aise kaise uss shaks ke saath shadi kar li jaaye...jise hum jaante nahi...jis se kabhi baat nahi kiye... kyaa uss waqt hamein apni zindagi ka itna bara faisla aise hi...sirf tasweer dekh kar kar lena chahiye...????? CY ki har larki se darkhuaast hai ki apne khayalat ka izhaar karin... plz... Edited January 16, 2006 by ibtisaam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted January 16, 2006 Wailkum Salam Ibtisaam! Hmm good question majority shadiyan Arrang hoti hain hum jis society main rehte hain wahan aisa hi hota hai aam taur pe larkiyon se poocha kam hi jata hai....aur agar poocha jata bhi hai to us waqt jab sab kuch plan hochuka hota hai yani faisla ho chuka hota hai. Yeh wakai bohat muskil merhala hota hai jisse na dekha ho na jante hoon aur us ke saath sari zindagi ghuzani pare aisi shadiyan bohat kam hi successful hoti hain aur jahan tak rahi baat LOVE MARRIAGE ki to woh bhi koi khas kamyab nahi hoti wajha EXPECTATION zaroorat se ziyada hoti hain. My point of view is shadi chahe arrange ho yeh love UNDERSTANDING honi lazmi hai warna shadi sirf samjhota ban ker reh jati hai aur agar yeh sab nahi hai k aap ko itna mauka hi na mile k aap ek dosre ko sumjh sakain to phir insaan main JHUKAO hona chaye jo loog waqt ke saath khud ko adjust kerne ka hunar jante hain un k liye arrange or love marriages koi khas meaning nahi rakhti. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deep eyez 0 Posted January 16, 2006 hmm ibti>>>nice topic :) per ...............khariat ha na??? acha to ab meray viewz ki bari ha. sab say pehlay to yeh k arange marrigez is liay kar li jati hain k parents k agay inkar karnay ki himat zyada larkioon may hoti nhe ha,dat why wo chup chap chahay dil razi ho ya na ho man jati hain . or meray khyaal may yeh koe buri bat b nhe ha.or wo is liay k parents ka tajurba zyaada hota ha,wo acha bura samjh saktay hain,or yeh k wo her her pehloo ko samnay rakhtay hain,ainda aanay walay waqt ko b dakhtay hain yani sab bato per gor kar k wo itna ahem faisla kartay hain, parents say zeyada to apni olaad ka koe bhala soch hee nhe sakta. jabkay teenage ki larkiaan.....zeyada tar larkiaan, sirf or sirf face beauty ko importance dayti hain,kia khayal ha???? or aik bat k....hum apni zindagi ka itnaaa ahem faisla perents ki marzi per kesay karain?????? to daykhay kia parents ka itna huq nhe ha????wo humay paltay-postay hain,parhatay likhatay hain,her her tarha ki sahoolatay faraham kartay hain,humari her choti bari khuwahish poori kartay hain to kia un ka huq nhe kay wo humari zindagi ka itnaaa ahem faisla kar sakay??? or wasay b ab wo zamana nhe raha k larki ko sirf tasweer dikhae jaay,haan kuch familiez may hota hoga per ab larka larki aik doosray ko samjhay ya na per shadi say pehlay kae dafa miltay zaroor hain,,,,kioonkay ab parents be broad minded hogaay hain, meray khayaal say to arrange marrigez zyada successful rehti hain coz un may baro ki duaay,goodwishes jo sath hoti hain, i think kafi hogya??? :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maha23 0 Posted January 16, 2006 mm well agree 2 both kiran n deep shaadi ho tau arrange ho coz yeah itna bara faisla if parents karein tau yeah in k liay qabil-e-fakhar baat hey iss se pata chatla hey keh how much importance u gve 2 ur parents,jahan tek pic dekh ker shaadi karney ki hey tau i think keh shaadi k badh her ek ko compromise karna parhta hey if pic dekh ker shaadi ki tau jo difference hain un ko woh doonoo hi khatam ker sakhtey hain n scientifically yeah cheeze prove hoi hey keh 80% love marraiges sucssefull nahi rehti tau ithink arrange is better jahan tek bat hey keh pata nahi kesa ho ga ek pic se kia hota hey tau let me tell u keh larkye k barey main shaadi k badh woh sab bhi pata chal jaata hey jo pehlay nahi pata hota :) [shaadi k badh kafichange aa jata hey] phir uss time aap k haath main hota hey keh kiss terhaan se kiss cheeze kiss tareeqy se deal karoo gay so its upto u n love marraige main ek baat hey jo baat r jo halaat shaadi se pehlay hotey hain woh shaadi k badh nahi rehtey phie bohut change aajata n then kia hota hey larki phir kia kehti hey husband se tumhey kia ho gia hey shaadi se pehlay tau tum ayse na they :D iss baat se yeah matlub na nikalain keeh larkey ko koi aur pasand aa gayee hey aur bhi bohut matters hotey hain Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ibtisaam 0 Posted January 16, 2006 Wailkum Salam Ibtisaam!My point of view is shadi chahe arrange ho yeh love UNDERSTANDING honi lazmi hai warna shadi sirf samjhota ban ker reh jati hai aur agar yeh sab nahi hai k aap ko itna mauka hi na mile k aap ek dosre ko sumjh sakain to phir insaan main JHUKAO hona chaye jo loog waqt ke saath khud ko adjust kerne ka hunar jante hain un k liye arrange or love marriages koi khas meaning nahi rakhti. 168126[/snapback] salam... sahi kaha kiran....aapne... JHUKAO hona chahiye...aur har kisi ko waqt ke saath khud ko adjust karne ka hunar aana chahiye... lekin kyaa aise tasweer wale shaks se shadi kar leni chahiye... ye baat theek hai ki hamare waldain ne jo bhi faisla kya hoga wo soch samajh kar hi kiyaa hoga... lekin kyaa bina usse mile bina usse baat kiye...hamein iss faisle ko tasleem kar lena chahiye..??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ibtisaam 0 Posted January 16, 2006 (edited) hmm ibti>>>nice topic :) per ...............khariat ha na??? acha to ab meray viewz ki bari ha. sab say pehlay to yeh k arange marrigez is liay kar li jati hain k parents k agay inkar karnay ki himat zyada larkioon may hoti nhe ha,dat why wo chup chap chahay dil razi ho ya na ho man jati hain . or meray khyaal may yeh koe buri bat b nhe ha.or wo is liay k parents ka tajurba zyaada hota ha,wo acha bura samjh saktay hain,or yeh k wo her her pehloo ko samnay rakhtay hain,ainda aanay walay waqt ko b dakhtay hain yani sab bato per gor kar k wo itna ahem faisla kartay hain, parents say zeyada to apni olaad ka koe bhala soch hee nhe sakta. jabkay teenage ki larkiaan.....zeyada tar larkiaan, sirf or sirf face beauty ko importance dayti hain,kia khayal ha???? or aik bat k....hum apni zindagi ka itnaaa ahem faisla perents ki marzi per kesay karain?????? to daykhay kia parents ka itna huq nhe ha????wo humay paltay-postay hain,parhatay likhatay hain,her her tarha ki sahoolatay faraham kartay hain,humari her choti bari khuwahish poori kartay hain to kia un ka huq nhe kay wo humari zindagi ka itnaaa ahem faisla kar sakay??? or wasay b ab wo zamana nhe raha k larki ko sirf tasweer dikhae jaay,haan kuch familiez may hota hoga per ab larka larki aik doosray ko samjhay ya na per shadi say pehlay kae dafa miltay zaroor hain,,,,kioonkay ab parents be broad minded hogaay hain, meray khayaal say to arrange marrigez zyada successful rehti hain coz un may baro ki duaay,goodwishes jo sath hoti hain, i think kafi hogya??? :P 168135[/snapback] salam... deep... haan mana karne ki himmat to nahi hoti...par...par iss ka ye matlab bhi nahi ke hum uss waqt apne waldain ke faisle se zehmat nahi hai... bas kuchh waqt chahiye hota hai... woh kaanch ke sapne toot kar aankhon mein chubhne lagte hain... haan uss waqt hum apni sapno ki dunya se bahar aajate hain... love marriage ka matlab ye bilkul nahi hai ki walden ke khilaaf...hi ki jaaye...plz take love +ve ye to bohot bara faisla hota hai...aur waldain ki marzi ke bagair nahi karna chahiye... main aap teeno ki baat se ittefaq rakhti hun...ke ye faisla waldain ko hi karna chahiye Edited January 17, 2006 by ibtisaam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ibtisaam 0 Posted January 16, 2006 mm well agree 2 both kiran n deep shaadi ho tau arrange ho coz yeah itna bara faisla if parents karein tau yeah in k liay qabil-e-fakhar baat hey iss se pata chatla hey keh how much importance u gve 2 ur parents,jahan tek pic dekh ker shaadi karney ki hey tau i think keh shaadi k badh her ek ko compromise karna parhta hey if pic dekh ker shaadi ki tau jo difference hain un ko woh doonoo hi khatam ker sakhtey hain  n scientifically yeah cheeze prove hoi hey keh 80% love marraiges sucssefull nahi rehti tau ithink arrange is better jahan tek bat hey keh pata nahi kesa ho ga ek pic se kia hota hey tau let me tell u keh larkye k barey main shaadi k badh woh sab bhi pata chal jaata hey jo pehlay nahi pata hota :) [shaadi k badh kafichange aa jata hey] phir uss time aap k haath main hota hey keh kiss terhaan se kiss cheeze kiss tareeqy se deal karoo gay so its upto u n love marraige main ek baat hey jo baat r jo halaat shaadi se pehlay hotey hain woh shaadi k badh nahi rehtey phie bohut change aajata n then kia hota hey larki phir kia kehti hey husband se         tumhey kia ho gia hey shaadi se pehlay tau tum ayse na they :D      iss baat se yeah matlub na nikalain keeh larkey ko koi aur pasand aa gayee hey aur bhi bohut matters hotey hain 168143[/snapback] salam... maha... love marriage mein i think ke phir shaadi ke baad chhoti chhoti baat par jhagre hote hai... jaisa ki kiran ne kaha ki ek dusre se EXPECTATION kuchh zyada hoti hai...aur shayad isi waja se jhagre hote hai.... aur phir yahi khyal aata hai ki shaadi se pehle to ye aisa na tha.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ibtisaam 0 Posted January 17, 2006 salam.. kiyaa uss waqt...wldein ke saamne ye baat rakhna munasib hoga ki hum uss se ek baar face to face baat karna chhahte hain...? ye baat keh ne ki himmat to nahi hogi...aur ye ek tarha se galat bhi hoga... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maha23 0 Posted January 17, 2006 u r right but yeah sawal karney se pehlay aap apni family ko bhi dekhoo kia yeah cheeze aap ki family main hey keh larki ya larka ek dafa mil lain coz ek dafa milney ka koi faidha nahi hey aap ek mulaqat main kissi insaan ko nahi jaan sakhtey n secondlt hamrey islam main bhi iss cheeze se manna kia gia hey keh rukhsaati se pehlay nahi millna Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chandani 0 Posted January 17, 2006 (edited) hi gyz wats oooo my god itny super posts main ne kabhi nahi dekhy wesay ibtisam arange mariage is not a bad idea at all sari baat tu understanding ki hot jesy kay kiran appi nay kha k My point of view is shadi chahe arrange ho yeh love UNDERSTANDING honi lazmi hai waqai baat tu sar UNDERSTANDING ki hoti hai.... shaadi karny say pehly oss ko aik baar mill lena chiye yaa aap oss ko AZMAA bi sakty hain....sirf picture dekhny say tu baat puri nahi hoo jati.....humain oss person kii seerat kii taraf concentrate karna chiye k woo kiss kisam ka person hai......phirr baad main baat ko aghy barhana chahiye.....GET IT IN TO UR HEAD...IF U DONT MIND... WESAY MERY EXPLAINATION KESI THII Edited January 17, 2006 by Chandani Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chandani 0 Posted January 17, 2006 anywayz aap sab ky points of views biii right hain i meann..... :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Waqas 48 Posted January 18, 2006 Ibtisaam this is a Girls section you are not supposed to speak here, kindly start topic in Guftgu if you want everyone to participate. You have started topic here so im not going to delete it as members replied here if you want to move it to Guftgu section then tell me. Thanks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ibtisaam 0 Posted January 18, 2006 salam...admin "Ibtisaam this is a Girls section you are not supposed to speak here" i m a girl... :flower: .... aur admin...main iss topic ko sirf girlz ke saath discuss karna chahti thi...unke khyalaat,rai janna chahti thi... main ne apni post mein jo situation batai hai...use sirf larkiyaan hi face karti hai... that's why main ne ise "Girlz Talk" mein post ki... baaqi...as u wish... agar aap ise...guftugu mein move karna chahte hain...to main apni post ko thorasa edit kar dungi...take boyzzz bhi reply de sake... :flower: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Waqas 48 Posted January 18, 2006 Sorry i take ibtisaam as boys name as i know some males having this name. You can continue here. Sorry for interruption. Thanks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Truth 0 Posted January 18, 2006 oh ibtisam be realstic yeh sub batain movies ya dramas ki heroin kehtee hoye sahe lagtee hay jahan mazhab ka koi ata pata na ho hum Mashllah msulman hain Islam nay koi pehloo aisa nahi chora jis main kuch adhora pun ho yeh soochna kay shadi say pehlay hee jaan pehchan ho jaye or ik dosray say millain jullain its not allowed islam my dear even u didnt talk or meet wid ur fiounce ..coz he is still Namehrum for u Shadi ik mazhabee rasam hay or allah tala khud app kay dil main shadi kay bad itne gunjaish or muhhabat paida kertay hain k woh insan jo ajj say pehlay ajnabi tha us say pyara phir koi or nahi lagta one of my frd said kay mangatar say bat cheet kerne cheye takay understanding ho is main kia burayee hhay and wat End of her story shadi say ik din pehlay her fiounce refused to merry wid her kahan ki understanding kahan ka samjhna as a muslim womens yeh batain humain zaib nahi daytee ....sirf ik nazar shadi say pehlay dekhna jaaiz hay woh bhi is terah kay jub lerki dekhay to lerkay ko maloom na ho or jub lerka dekhay to lerki ko maloom na ho or tasweer dekha to jaiiz hee nahi its haraam .... just belive on Allah & follow his rules u ll get best of the best ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ariba 0 Posted January 18, 2006 Good topic!! the_truth>>ur reply is to the point and i am agreed with u. When it comes to islam then there should be not any objection.Humari aqal mehdood hai lakin phir b soochne per kaiee logics samne ajaiti hain. Waise b Surah Room Ki ayat jiska mafhoom yeh hai k Allah ne tumhein piadah farmaya phir tumhary liye tumahari hi terha k jore(couple) banaye,phir un k darmiyan mouhabat aur rehmdili ko rakha. Iss ayat ki tafseer main ulama ne likha hai k yahan Allah ne pehly joron ka zikar farmaya hai phir mouhabat aur reham dili ka zikar kiya hai.So Nikah see pehly pehly koe b aisi cheez ya khayal ka tasawur islam main nahin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chandani 0 Posted January 18, 2006 u gyz are giving me some good points of views about this topic which is absloutly right.....so very well done to all of you...and keep it up.....u know isss say aap ka knowledge increase hota hai..... so keep giving some good pointsss.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted January 19, 2006 Ibtisaam>Dear baghair kisi ko dekhe yeh janne to wakai shadi kerna bohat mushkil hai magar humari haan majority larkiyan kuch nahi kehti agar waldain shadi kahin tay ker dain to aur waldain bhi poochna zaroori nahi sumjhte Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ibtisaam 0 Posted January 19, 2006 salam... Maha>>>nahi iss ki ijazat to nahi mileingi... aapne bilkul theek kaha ki ek mulaqat mein kisi ko nahi jaan sakte...par atleast hume use cross examine karne ka moqa mile ga...aur kuchh pehlu par usske khayalat jaanne ka moqa milenga...uska attitude pata chale ga... haan islaam mein iss cheez ki manai hai.... aaj kal...bohot hi kam log aise honge jo...kisi ko bina mile...bina jaane us se shadi karle...talking abt both male or female. ****************************************************************** salam.... jazakallah Truth...aapne bohot achha reply diya... phir bhi kuchh kehna chahungi... "as a muslim womens yeh batain humain zaib nahi daytee ....sirf ik nazar shadi say pehlay dekhna jaaiz hay woh bhi is terah kay jub lerki dekhay to lerkay ko maloom na ho or jub lerka dekhay to lerki ko maloom na ho" "or tasweer dekhna to jaiiz hee nahi its haraam" haan truth ye haram hai lekin aaj kal bohot hi aam baat hai ki log khud rishte ke lye...tasweer khichwatein hain aur rishte ke liye...ise...dete hain... aur baaz auqaat..na chahte hue bhi aisa karna parta hai... ***************************************************************** ariba...shukriya...topic pasand karne ke liye...aur nice reply... kyaa aap kisi ki tasweer dekhe bina...use dekhe bina use jaane bina...uss se shadi kar leingi? ******************************************************************* kiran... phir aisi situation par aap kyaa karogi...? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted January 19, 2006 (edited) INKAR ;) as my family knows me :D Edited January 19, 2006 by Kiran Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ibtisaam 0 Posted January 19, 2006 salam... hummm....kiran... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ariba 0 Posted January 19, 2006 ariba...shukriya...topic pasand karne ke liye...aur nice reply...kyaa aap kisi ki tasweer dekhe bina...use dekhe bina use jaane bina...uss se shadi kar leingi? Mujhay to uss see kiya kisi see b milne aur na hi9 dekhne ka koe shooq hai. Main pic nahin bunvati,aur koshish karti hoon k namehrum per nazar na pary. Allah mere samet sab ko isteqamat naseeb farmaye.(Ameen).Baqi jo Allah ne qismat main likha hoo wo hoo kar rehta hai. U guys only repeating the same thing.Lakin islam ka hukam atal hai aur har zamane k liye hai. For all those who beleive in understanding b4 marrige,answer my question. Agar kal ko apka husband app see yeh keh day k agar tum mujhay phone kar sakti hoo ya mujh see milne asakti hoo tou pata nahin aur kitnoon ko mili hoogi.App k pass apni safaiee paish karne ko kiya hooga??Ajj kal trust ka zamana nahin hai aur jo kuch larkiyan karti phir rahi hain wo b kisi see chupa hua nahin hai.Aise main kisi kay dil main iss shak ka ajana koe herangi ki baat nahin hai. App mujhay bataien k app phir kiya karoo gi???Kiya iss see behter yehi nahin k apka daman bilkul saaf hoo?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
desire_of_devil 0 Posted January 19, 2006 (edited) :!: Edited January 22, 2006 by Waqas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted January 20, 2006 Ariba>yeh kis ne kaha ke aap bahar milne jao aap phone pe batain karo her achi larki apne ghar waloon ko dhoka nahi deti aur jahan tak husband k tanay ki baat hai to UNDERSTANDING kisse kehte hain yeh shayad aap sumjhi nahi ho sorry to say kyon k jo aap ko sumjh gaya ho woh aap ko ghalat kehne ki ghalti nahi ker sakta :) Ali>it's gilrs section hope u won't participate at least u keep safe ur precious words ;) ok? c u in other sections :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
