sanum 0 Posted February 19, 2004 One morning at church, the pastor was preaching about what God was and wasn't. He said "God is neither white, nor black. God is neither male nor female." After hearing all this, a curious 5 year old turned to his dad and asked -"Daddy, is God Michael Jackson?" ======================= Memory Problem It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful; they come home and tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it. Some months later, a neighbor approaches the man as he tends the garden. Neighbor asks, "Say, Ed, what was the name of the instructor of that memory course you liked so much?" Ed replies, "Well, it was...hmmm...let me think a minute... What's the name of that flower, you know, the one that smells so nice, but has thorns on the stems...? Neighbor says, "You mean a rose?" Ed replies, "Yeah, that's it!...(shouting toward house) Hey, Rose, what was that memory course instructor's name? :P ================================ A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?" The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know." ===================================================== College Rules On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?" "How much for a season pass?" ;) ============================= Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful ... doctor, engineer, accountant and lawyer and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said,"I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house." The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600." The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote: " Milton, The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." "Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound. It could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind.. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Melvin, You were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you." :D ========================================= Once a paki and his parrot are going on a aeroplane, the paki ring the bell for the air-hostess, so that she can bring water for him. As soon as hostess came to her the parrot kissed her. she replies 'so sweet' and goes back. The paki again ring the bell and again the parrot kissed her and she replies the same, this procedure continue 4-5 times, the paki got angry and ring the bell and as soon as hostess arrive he kissed her. The hostess got angry, she told this to the mgmt, the mgmt and all the passengers take the decision to throw paki and the parrot from the flying aeroplane. When they opened the door the parrot asked the paki that does he know how to fly, the paki said that he don't. The parrot replied 'punga phir avein hee leyaa jab nahi jaantay thay'. :P ---------------------------------- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted February 19, 2004 salam 2 all very nice SANUM Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rukh 25 Posted February 20, 2004 2nd & last two one is so funny good collection sanum Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted February 20, 2004 Aur NAZIREEN O HAZAREEN O SAMAEEN... Sanum ek baar phir mojood hain apne porane andaaz main sab ka dil jeet lene ke liye sanum superb Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sanum 0 Posted February 20, 2004 Thanx friends B) Kiran :flower: nice comment :P me tu abb bhi pehle jesi hoon...tum sub pata nahi kahan gawach gaey ho Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rukh 25 Posted February 20, 2004 hamaree majj gawach gayee hay sanum ;) or humain shak hai smile waloon gawachi hai ..humyahan dhoondnay ayee hain :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted February 20, 2004 salam 2 all RUKH acha tu khojion wale kaam hain aap k lagi rahain KIRAN aap HABIB banaspati hain jo dil jeetlene ki baat karahi hain Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sanum 0 Posted February 20, 2004 hamaree majj gawach gayee hay sanum ;) or humain shak hai smile waloon gawachi hai ..humyahan dhoondnay ayee hain :D Rukh fir labhi k nahi :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rukh 25 Posted February 20, 2004 kithoon sanum minoo lagda aaina lokaan sadee majj dee is eid tay qurabni ker kai tay odha roast bana ker kha gayee nay ;) hun medical test ho way ga saryan da :D ADD > bus ap apni knowledge berhatay rahain ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted February 20, 2004 salam 2 all thuwadhi galan sun k te meri maloomaat hi gawach rahi hai Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rythm 0 Posted February 21, 2004 issi liye.. main ne previous post main kaha thha ki badaam khaya karo.. ab iss umer main dimagh kaise kaam karega apka.. ouper se har ongi bongi baat ko gen knowledge samajh kar yaad kar lete ho.. ab memory se ziada use karo gay to machine stuck to hoye gi na :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted February 21, 2004 KIRANaap HABIB banaspati hain jo dil jeetlene ki baat karahi hain Regards its me AD :( :ph34r: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rukh 25 Posted February 21, 2004 rythm > :laugh: wah kia short mara hay ;) kiran > y u looking pareshan :o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rythm 0 Posted February 22, 2004 rukh> B) :D kiran> yes y u pareshan udaas? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted February 23, 2004 nothing :) well snaum kahan hain aap kuch naya kalam le ker aiin :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rythm 0 Posted February 23, 2004 kioon? puranay kalam ka kia hua? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted February 24, 2004 salam 2 all RYTHM kia baat hai bohat bolrahi hain peet peechay gheebat karna tu larkion se seekhe koi ziada bolna nahi chahiye dosron ko bhi mauka dena chahiye KIRAN miss pareshan hi rahaingi papers aarahe honge aur parha nahi hoga hamesha ki tarah purani beemari hai ;) RUKH bare shot marne ki planning hai aap ki aap ko bohat mazay aarahi hain aaj kal koi baat nahi ab yahan per 3 hain aik doosre ki haan main haan tu milaeingi hi Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiran 2 Posted February 25, 2004 KIRAN miss pareshan hi rahaingi papers aarahe honge aur parha nahi hoga hamesha ki tarah purani beemari hai ;) abh aap ....... rythm sumjahooooooooooooooo warna CY jang ka medan ban jaiga Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
