Love Vs Arrange Marriage

[caratamity 0]

Relationships are the most important things in life. And marriage is one of the most important relationships. Having said that, it becomes even more important who arranges the marriage, whether its ourselves or someone else like our parents or friends. The issue has taken the place of an important social problem. Different people have different opinions coming from different age groups from the different parts of the world.

Wht Do You say about it?

[Choudhry 0]

I personally blv on arrange marriage, as of i have seen they r long lasting

On the other hand Love marriage; again my observation u face lot of problems later on and most of em ended up within coupe of ears

plus U shud love after ur marriage So u wont anything to regret

[Moonlight 0]

I personally blv on arrange marriage, as of i have seen they r long lasting

On the other hand Love marriage; again my observation u face lot of problems later on and most of em ended up within coupe of ears

      plus U shud love after ur marriage So u wont anything to regret

148608[/snapback]

I agree with u 100 % on this.... :)

Edited July 25, 2005 by Annu

[maha23 0]

aoa

i also gree wid uu arrange marriages r more powerful den other

[maha23 0]

aoa

i also gree wid uu arrange marriages r more powerful den other

[Charmer 0]

I read anywhere “ it seems funny when ppl discuss the difference of love marriage n arrange marriage, it’s just like that u ask a person “would u like to hang urself or shoot urself to die :P †that’s what I accept as true.

It doesn’t matter if ur marriage is arranged or love but if u know how to compromise with love, n how to cop with ur life-partners flaws n merits u would have a good life.

[Choudhry 0]

Charmer Y wud just I compromise?

Y just one has to compromise with his/her life partner.... aur akhair eik kab tak karay ga

[kashish* 0]

Asalam-u-alaikum.2 allz

I agree wid charmer......chahey marriage arrange hoo ya love marriage ager app ko zindigi guzarney ka salika aata hai tu koi wajah nahi kah kisi bhi marriage ka end bura hoo....ye baat sahi hai kah ziyada ter dekha jata hai kah arrange marriage kamiyab rahti hain lakin wo is liye kah us main hamare baroon ki sapport hoti haii tu ager koi misunderstanding ho bhi jaye tu wo help kertey hai solve kerney main...tu is ka matlab ye hai kah arrange marriage main bhii chances hotey haii misunderstanding key....aur ager love marriage main apney baroon ki marzi bhi shamil hoo tu soney per suhaga aur ager nahi tu kabhi kabhar complication ho jati hai lakin ager unhain samjhdari se solve kiya jaye tuu koi burayi nahii........so in last mera khayal hai arrange marriage bhii aur love marriage bhii....dono kamiyab ho sakti haiin ..ye sab app per depend kerta haii

choudhry...app ki baat bhi sahi hai kah ik hi banda compromise keun kare....lakin isi ko tu kahtey hai zindigi guzarney ka tareeqa kah app kitney bhi mushkil hallaat ko kaise handle kertey hai.....aur jahan ANNA aa jati haii wahan piya, rishta saab khatam ho jata hai chahey wo love ho ya arrange......so think about it...

[Charmer 0]

Charmer Y wud just I compromise?

        Y just one has to compromise with his/her life partner.... aur akhair eik kab tak karay ga

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y shouldn't u.... Don't u compromise with ur family members' n friends' bad habits n flaws?? r they same what u want them to be?

then y u can't cmpromise with ur life partner's..?

[caratamity 0]

Asalam-u-alaikum.2 allz

I agree wid charmer......chahey marriage arrange hoo ya love marriage ager app ko zindigi guzarney ka salika aata hai tu koi wajah nahi kah kisi bhi marriage ka end bura hoo....ye baat sahi hai kah ziyada ter dekha jata hai kah arrange marriage kamiyab rahti hain lakin wo is liye kah us main hamare baroon ki sapport hoti haii tu ager koi misunderstanding ho bhi jaye tu wo help kertey hai solve kerney main...tu is ka matlab ye hai kah arrange marriage main bhii chances hotey haii misunderstanding key....aur ager love marriage  main apney baroon ki marzi bhi shamil hoo tu soney per suhaga aur ager nahi tu kabhi kabhar complication ho jati hai lakin ager unhain samjhdari se solve kiya jaye tuu koi burayi nahii........so in last mera khayal hai arrange marriage bhii aur love marriage bhii....dono kamiyab ho sakti haiin ..ye sab app per depend kerta haii

choudhry...app ki baat bhi sahi hai kah ik hi banda compromise keun kare....lakin isi ko tu kahtey hai zindigi guzarney ka tareeqa kah app kitney bhi mushkil hallaat ko kaise handle kertey hai.....aur jahan ANNA aa jati haii wahan piya, rishta saab khatam ho jata hai chahey wo love ho ya arrange......so think about it...

148702[/snapback]

Quite Mature and Sensible Thinking.

[caratamity 0]

I read anywhere “ it seems funny when ppl discuss the difference of love marriage n arrange marriage, it’s just like that u ask a person “would u like to hang urself or shoot urself to die :P †that’s what I accept as true.

It doesn’t matter if ur marriage is arranged or love but if u know how to compromise with love, n how to cop with ur life-partners flaws n merits u would have a good life.

148650[/snapback]

Well your first part Is Well said . Sometimes in life you do have to make some decisions that you don't ever want to make , but You have to. I think Marriage is one of that. You have to Die to see HereAfter.

Aur Jab Decision lena hi to then you'll have to decide Love or Arrange

I agree with your Compromise Part. But, you can't compromise on Everything in life. I mean let's say

Will you compromise to marry a Kafir ?(islamic point of view)?

Will you compromise to marry a person Who is into Drugs?

Will you compromise to be Beaten Every day by your Husband?

There can be many more.

Another Question Arises Here,

Can a compromise make you Happy ?

Compromise is Hell of a Word. I think it works when you see some give and take. Otherwise I would prefer it as Sacrifice.

I have seen many Thought provoking answers and posts. Still Want some more in depth analysis. So Keep it up .

[*jadoo* 0]

salam every one :hi:

to be very honest.. main nee sareee replys nahi paree ... i just see the heading and want to shear some thing :D

as ur topic name is LOVE VE ARRANGE MARRIAGE i dont think soo kee inn donoo baatoo ka.... koee comparsion hona chyeee

becoz... love is some thing else... and marraige is a matter of understanding.... haan its happen some time kee kahee log jiss see love kartee hai un kee .. usee bandee kee sath ache understanding be hoo jayeee ... becoz... LOVE tu annda hota hai :P :P :P .. well..... well .... i just want to say ... marraige arrange hoo yah love.... yah problem nahi hai.. masla taab hota hai jab doo bandoo kee soch ek dosree kee oposite hooo ..... so try to.... make ur self .. more flexible with other

ok baass yahee kahna tha .

agee app log bahtar janooo

:D

tc bye

[sonoo0 0]

ahan very nice discussion

Well i also want to share my views here........

i think so ......... no need to compare LOve with marriage :D

becuase after marriage we are bound to like our partner because we have no other way to leave him or her.........but it depends.... :)

Well.......In love we know sometimes that may be we can not marry with that person but still we like to spend time with HIm or Her........... :)

and waisy bhi i think Love is strong relationship than marriage.......

BUt those ppl are luckiest who can marry with their LOVe.........

so i think kay Love kay sath marriage is Best.......... :D

hmmmmmmm i think it is enough

otherwise main likti hi jaoo go :P

take care all

[DeadManWakin 0]

i say luv is like a platform wher evry one comes n goes while marriage is like a road whihc has no ending.

so if u want to be a luver then don marry that person n if u want to to go for arrange marriage then be flexible in ur evry day routine u shuld not be stuburn.

as far as these questoins r concerend

Will you compromise to marry a Kafir ?(islamic point of view)?

depend on the defination of kafir ,if u talk abt ahl-e-kitab u can marry them but a man can not a gal. n if u thnk u can make that perosn a muslim then try to that as well.

Will you compromise to marry a person Who is into Drugs?

y don u try chnage that person then go for marriage or u can marry him/her after that u can chnage him/her if u have strong commitment n confidense.

Will you compromise to be Beaten Every day by your Husband?

nops ,no way its barberic .

[caratamity 0]

@ Jadoo

to be very honest.. main nee sareee replys nahi paree ... i just see the heading and want to shear some thing

Well, this is not Right, :( atleast you should get your mind refreshed by others thoughts too :angel: lolz :D

You are Welcome and it will be honour for us to have your views, plz keep sharing.

becoz... love is some thing else... and marraige is a matter of understanding.... haan its happen some time kee kahee log jiss see love kartee hai un kee .. usee bandee kee sath ache understanding be hoo jayeee ... becoz... LOVE tu annda hota hai    .. well.....

Well, Nice definition, but I want to make it cleat here. I used the word Love Marriage as a convention, It doesn't mean that I am talking about the real definition of Love. You may take it as Choosing your Life partner by urself.

I really would like to hear from u on topic What is Love. Plz posts some of your thoughts there.

well .... i just want to say ... marraige arrange hoo yah love.... yah problem nahi hai.. masla taab hota hai jab doo bandoo kee soch ek dosree kee oposite hooo ..... so try to.... make ur self .. more flexible with other

Nice thinking, I agree with you. It's only the matter of Understanding Right?

[caratamity 0]

ahan very nice discussion

Well i also want to share my views here........

i think so ......... no need to compare LOve with marriage :D

becuase after marriage we are bound to like our partner because we have no other way to leave him or her.........but it depends.... :)

Well.......In love we know sometimes that may be we can not marry with that person but still we like to spend time with HIm or Her........... :)

and waisy bhi i think Love is strong relationship than marriage.......

BUt those ppl are luckiest who can marry with their LOVe.........

so i think kay Love kay sath marriage is Best.......... :D

hmmmmmmm i think it is enough

otherwise main likti hi jaoo go  :P

take care all

148800[/snapback]

First of all Thnx for Liking this Discussion. It will be great, Inspiring, thought provoking and Positive thinking if you'll be keep posting and sharing your Views.

I think no one is Bound to Like his/her Partner. I think you are talking about the "Arrange Marriage ' Right.? I said it earlier I am not Reffering it to Real Love You can take it as Choosing your Life partner by Yourself.

You have made an interesting arguement about love and beloved. I mean someone enjoy more with loved ones.

Would you plz Elaborate more about Love is Strong Relationship than Marriage? I am looking forward to your answer.

no it's not certainly Enough, you have made some interesting comments, I really want you to continue plz, anyway nice sharing.

[Charmer 0]

Will you compromise to marry a Kafir ?(islamic point of view)?

Marrying a kafir is prohibited in Islam (ahel-a-kitab r not called kafir) , u misconstrued what I say, compromise doesn’t mean To Compromise with Islam…

There is no compromise in Islamic fundamentals.

Will you compromise to marry a person Who is into Drugs?

Will you compromise to be Beaten Every day by your Husband?

Oh come on bro! don’t u live in Pakistan? Haven’t u seen those women who r beaten by their husbands daily, n those women whose husbands r exploiting their rights? N those women who r compromising with lose character husbands? But still they don’t wanna get divorce coz they don’t have any other way to survive in such a male dominating social order.

Any way, the thing I wanna tell u that u totally misunderstand my words…. I state my views in my second reply “y shouldn't u.... Don't u compromise with ur family members' n friends' bad habits n flaws?? r they same what u want them to be?

then y u can't compromise with ur life partner's..?"

N one thing more “ Each person has his/her own basics of compromising things. One thing u can compromise with, can be unbearable for other person.â€

U asked if compromise can make you Happy ?

Boy! We keep compromising in our whole life, we don’t find everything according to our desire.

Again I’ll say “we also compromise with our friends’ n family members’ bad habits n flaws, we compromise with our surroundings’ dissonance things. N u can remain happy in compromising if u think it’s necessary to coexist with life, n u don’t take compromising a HELL.

I hope u’ll get it.

[Choudhry 0]

Charmer and kashish! Eik saal bakwas suni us ki.. pura aik saal, Kia nahi kia us kay liay even keh smokin tak bhi chor di, jis gari main usay pehli bar bethaya wo gari tak kharid lee laykin pata nahi kia khannas tha us kay damag main, yar bola us kay samanay akhri din bhi nahi bus ab usnay itna zalil kar dia tha keh aur bardast karnay ki himat nahi thi............

Hey! Let me tell all of u sum impotant thing

Har rishta hamesha kay liay nahi hota,

kuch rishtoon ko pehlay din hi tor dia jaye to dukh nahi hota

muhabbat karo, buri cheez nahi hai

Laykin, har chamaknay wali cheez sona nahi hoti

Insan agar koray main aue heray main farq samaj lay to khabhi barbad nahi hota.. neva

Kyon karoon main compromise! Acha bura waqt to sub par ata hay, jo buray main sath na day usay achay waqt main sath rakhna bewaqofi hai

[cute_ooky 0]

I am not getting married so I have no opinion on it..

:) simple!!

Aimon.

[silver 0]

no..aimon...u have 2...every1's gonna marry...so...i'll post ur reply...

Aimon says..: zindagi aik dhokay ka naam hai

ibadatain karo aur chalay jaao

so..my reply is..arrange marriges r better...kyuun kayiss mai loss ka khatra nahin hota....lakin love marrige..mai yeh khatra hota hai..loss as in..like kay relationship khatam honay ka....kafi illzam n things happen in it...arrange marriges r long lasting but love marriges,,,,rarely last....so tis is my opinion..lakin mai khud love marrige karooon ga..hehehehehe.....may b with my best friend...

[cute_ooky 0]

no..aimon...u have 2...every1's gonna marry...so...i'll post ur reply...

Aimon says..: zindagi aik dhokay ka naam hai

ibadatain karo aur chalay jaao

USMAAAANNN tum mera mazak ura rahe ho? :( Haan thanx for replying .. I dun think I need to give u my password.. U know me too darn well.. :P

so..my reply is..arrange marriges r better...kyuun kayiss mai loss ka khatra nahin hota....lakin love marrige..mai yeh khatra hota hai..loss as in..like kay relationship khatam honay ka....kafi illzam n things happen in it...arrange marriges r long lasting but love marriges,,,,rarely last....so tis is my opinion..lakin mai khud love marrige karooon ga..hehehehehe.....may b with my best friend...

Ya ya ya.. I know I know.. yar itne ache khayalat per pani pher dia.. ur last line ne.. I was going to say wow Silver kitna smart ho gaya hai.. MashaAllah meri suhbat ka asar hai.. is mai bhi thori buhat aqal agayi hai shayed lekin u proved me wrong with ur last sentence.. :angry2: it means mere saath rehte hue tum aur bhi stupid ho gaye ho.. GOOD! thank God ab tumhare pas kuch hai nahi jatane ko :P

Yea emm hes right abt my opinion.. thats exactly what i wud've sed.. Usman sare suspense ka satianas ker dia!!

Aimon. [/b]

[kirankhan 0]

Well your first part Is Well said . Sometimes in life you do have to make some decisions that you don't ever want to make , but You have to. I think Marriage is one of that. You have to Die to see HereAfter.

Aur Jab Decision lena hi to then you'll have to decide Love or Arrange

I agree with your Compromise Part. But, you can't compromise on Everything in life. I mean let's say

Will you compromise to marry a Kafir ?(islamic point of view)?

Will you compromise to marry a person Who is into Drugs?

Will you compromise to be Beaten Every day by your Husband?

There can be many more.

Another Question Arises Here,

Can a  compromise make you Happy ?

Compromise is Hell of a Word. I think it works when you see some give and take. Otherwise I would prefer it as Sacrifice.

I have seen many Thought provoking answers and posts. Still Want some more in depth analysis. So  Keep it up .

148786[/snapback]

[Bugs 0]

hmmmmmmmmmmm well on thin is true evry one has to get married n i say every one expressing their opinions is right in a way .

waisay if u want to have twist in ur life then go for luv n i f u want chill out hen arrnage marriage

[silver 0]

satyanaas..hmm..aimon..yar..love marriege..meray opinion mai woh hai..like v're good friends..then v get married n after that love..ho jaata hai..u know...like..aik doosray kay bagaair zinda nahin reh saktay bla bla bla...tumhari sohbat mai rahoon ga to bander ban jaaon ga...lol..luv

[caratamity 0]

Relationships are the most important things in life. And marriage is one of the most important relationships. Having said that, it becomes even more important who arranges the marriage, whether its ourselves or someone else like our parents or friends. The issue has taken the place of an important social problem. Different people have different opinions coming from different age groups from the different parts of the world. Marriage as we can see is a commitment of spending the rest of our life with someone (or some period as we see in western culture). This has a great impact on our life, career and personality.

So, should we let our parents decide so much for us?

Or Should We, Ourselves Decide it ?

These are the hot Questions discussed by our generation.

Marriage is the bond between two ppl, families, and God. It is represented in every culture and religion as the most important relationship of mankind, and it must be as it ensures the proper way to expand the Human race and keep it from danger of end.

Culture and religion play an important role towards the concepts and views about marriage. I would prefer more on Cultral basis rather religion. Beacause I think this is why this question is asked here.

There are many arguements to be made in favour of each. But, I don't think every thing is perfect to all. I dont think supporters of each can make a convincing argument for or against one kind of marriage. When you say You want to marry by Love or Arrange, there is a major question to be answered

Do you want your marraige to be a successful one ?

There is a difference between a successful marriage, means It really depends on your definition of a "successful" marriage. Is it one that doesnt end in divorce or one in which both partners are happy?

The choice is yours. But for me I think the Latter one would be more aapropriate, as I do have experience of many such marriages that long for whole lives of both the partners but you know how they worked? This is where I started to think about, should someone Break up ? and when It should be done?ere are many examples of this in our culture, in which they succeed to carry on but, the way they do it, I mean many say What the hell this is . I think you understand what I am saying.

The point of discussion if not the WAY you want to get married ... the point is that 'Do you want your soul mate to be chosen via your parents solely, or by yourself?'.Please define love!!! Its a bit confusing to use western rhetoric about love and arraged marriages and define love orientally. If we take western concept of love. I ask you: why get married? We can live together and raise children without being married! If we define every concept according to our own culture, the question doesnt materialize at all! If it is a natural cultural actuation, why wasnt it raised, lets say, 100 yrs ago!? The question is not whether love or arrange marriages. the question is: why ask such a question! If there is an assumption that some how we have become enlightened by exposure to western intellectual traditions and are able to ask this question now, which we couldnt ask 100 yrs back , i dare to ask another question: How would we define enlightenment, and how would we account for the apparent disrepute of enlightenment ideas in west it self. Maybe too heavy.