caratamity 0 Posted July 29, 2005 Haan Geebut if i explain it :( it will be out of the topic lakin still agar ap nay kaha hay to kuch to kah hi doo na :D Well i think kay Love is Something which bounds u to marry .......... but marry can not bound u to Love someone .................Right But still every person have different experiances........ so i think kay It only can be understood when U Truely Love someone........ Otherwise it is just like a fazool baat that Love is Strong....... Piyar main Dil ka Dil say Rishta hota hay...... and it makes u more strong............ pata nahi main nay sahi explain kiya hay ya nahi but i just try na :( take care 149178[/snapback] well, Nice and interesting definition about Love and Marriage. But, I think Marriage do bound you to Love. May be it is for Whole Female Race or it if For Children . There is some Chain that links Love and Marriage, You cant deny that. You really Explained well, I appreciate your feelings. Especially the Part about the Real Love, aur baqi Fazool. I agree with you. Aur yeah It makes you relly strong, I cent percent agree with you there too. Keep sharing and Posting Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caratamity 0 Posted July 29, 2005 Ok well.. As for Islam is concerned, I thnk we are allowed to go for both.. that is if u like sumone.. to go ahead... iski ijazat hai.. and arranged marriages per bhi koi ban nahi.. to bhai its so easy.. Jab tumhari shadi ki omar ho and u think u like someone to go aheah.. have a love marriage or whatever and if not.. to phir go for arranged! Whats so complicated abt it? And successful.. well if u look at it.. love marriages have a higher divorce rate .. but that doesn't tell u anythign because even in arranged marriages lots of time ppl are never happy but they dun get divorce because the marriage wasn't THEIR choice at first place ... doesn't matter if it was their parent's choice or whoever else.. and with love ur not being held back by ur parent's or ppl's expectations.. Anyways I think they are both equally successful and equally unsuccessful! Ceratimity: emm wow .. U've raised another issue here.. I guess we need a whole new topic to define all that! My post here is just an answer.. some comments abt Love vs Arranged marriages.. And Usman: yar u can write all this in email .. !! Hamare secrets out na karo yahan (bander wali baat ;)) Aimon. 149111[/snapback] Gr8 Thoughts. I agree with you as far as there Success is concern. You are certainly right that both can be successful and Unsuccessful. But, the point I raised Previously was How do you see a Successful Marraige ? I mean 1) In which both Avoid the Divorce 2) or in which Both the Partners remain Happy well, you said that Jab shadi ki umar ho jaey to jiss ka dil chahay woh uss tara apna life partner choose kar lay. But Cute_ooky , Problem arises when there are other factors than just yourself. I mean the family, Culture, Rishtadaar, etc. It's not that Simple ................. What do you say about it. I want to discuss those problems and there solution actually when you face during each of them. How would you cope with that ? this is the point Waiting for your View point Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Choudhry 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Hey guys wats up? ( girls r not suppose to read this.. close ur eyes and scroll it down) How abt we try both of em and then we can tell the experiences to our kids......... Caramity1 yar u r talkin abt Family, culture and ristadar... Yar once ure married they dont mean anything... look ager koi meri wife kay baray main kuch kahay ga to 4 sure i am gonna kill him rite away... now we have our own life and we know wats good for us.. like for example u dont like some of urs husband/ wifez rishtadar so dont push each other to go and see them.. u wanne go then go but dont push ur mate.. saray maslay hal... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Charmer 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Oh!! Intellectuals r going good :D Aimon n caratamity ur replies r excellent.... still.... Im just reading them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caratamity 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Caramity1 yar u r talkin abt Family, culture and ristadar... Yar once ure married they dont mean anything... look ager koi meri wife kay baray main kuch kahay ga to 4 sure i am gonna kill him rite away... now we have our own life and we know wats good for us.. like for example u dont like some of urs husband/ wifez rishtadar so dont push each other to go and see them.. u wanne go then go but dont push ur mate.. saray maslay hal... Well, As Man is a Social Animal, and indeed He has to Live with ppl. You cant just Ignore or Kill everybody. After all, you'll have to live with them, This how Cultures are made and Socities are built. Aur waisay yaar, aapas ki baat hai to tumharay Ilawa, Sab ko Marna paray ga in that case :) . Woh kia hai keh Fard qaim Rabt-e-Millat say hai Tanha Kuch Nahi This is what I can say Choudhry ........... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caratamity 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Oh!! Intellectuals r going good :D Aimon n caratamity ur replies r excellent.... still.... Im just reading them. 149386[/snapback] First of All thnx, aur yeah kia :o aap apnay aap ko Intellactual Nahi Samajhtay kia ? Certainly I do ..... That is why Miss your answer and Participation, usually see your posts, Mostly they are Nice and mature, Waiting For your Turn to Post :angel: ............keep smiling I think sometimes when we grow up we think we know everything. Thanks to the movies,Dramas and media stuff as you mentioned, we start living in a fools paradise . Sometimes we find someone and think, hey what do u know I am in Love?? I guess even the so called LOVE is just merely strong likeness. But thanks to the media, we think it of as Love. So, We'll have to distinguish between love & likeness. That is why I started a topic named as What is Love. Any way that is separate issue, I'll continue considering it as Love ( though Hard for me :( ). I think asking ur parents or elders to find a rishta is a better one. Y?? Well first of all they arent ur enemies. They have a little bit more experience than we do. And obviously they dont want u to suffer in future. Like everyone say, Love is blind. And hell it is. You wouldnt even see the things in ur partner that can be threatening in the later part of ur life. You avoid so many signs that might destroy the future of ur children. C'mon guys, let ur parents look for ur partner. Aur waisay bhi, u can always say NO!! No one is pushing u. You can still make a choice. Islam allows u to meet the girl in her house and get to know her. Pyaar Love, baadh main bhi hojata hai. If u dont know which family the person is coming from, u'll never know what they might have done in the past. There are other Strong and Interesting Arguements that support Arrange marriage. :) a) when there is an affair before marriage u develop an understanding to a level above the required one so husband wife are rather too much frank to create problems for themselves bcoz the understanding is between husband & wife not between the other ppl of susraal with the wife, this makes the susraal of wife feel that their son pays more attention to wife and what happens next???? You know that old Saas bahoo & Nand Jhagraas. ( b ) The expectations of wife are more in case of a love marriage and it is not the mistake of girls that they expect more its the boys (Sorry boys. :( ) as they approve and approave and approve all the wants and demands of the girls before marriage and after marriage if those promises are not kept by the boys the girls get frustrated. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nathan 0 Posted July 30, 2005 Good going guys...... I guess love cant be happened before marriage.........its just infatuation.... whats the use of wasting ur time for just a little bitty boy or girl.... :P u surely get love after ur Arranged marriage too.... :dontsad: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rabbia 0 Posted August 1, 2005 :) nice topic few yrs b4 i also started this topic here :) at that time my views were different but now i say arrange marriage kiyun k agar kahin koi garbar ho jai u get chance to blame jokes apart arrange marriages r better kiyun i m also going to have arrange engagement :P thts y ;) . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Choudhry 0 Posted August 1, 2005 Congrats On ur engagement Rabia... I dont agree wid ya Nathan... U shud try everything and Nothing is waste ever, you always get sumthing to learn Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nathan 0 Posted August 2, 2005 Choudary>>>..... ya you r right... but love and liking somebody are totally different things......... love happens to be something else .... is our religion let us to love any NAMahram...??????........If not, than how can be Love marriage is better than Arranged....????? :) .. and what can we learn from this so called love before marriage if we cant get it arranged?????? :) :) :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rabbia 0 Posted August 4, 2005 i agree with NATHAN NICE REPLY Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Choudhry 0 Posted August 4, 2005 Nathan! i am lookin at love or arrange marriage through religious point of view, I am takin it as general.. Just forget for ten mins that u r Muslim and then think abt it and tell me wats ur opinion is? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nathan 0 Posted August 4, 2005 Rabbia>> sis thanks :angel: ........... ab logon ko kiya hogaya hai aap hi samjain :P :P Choudhary>>> Brother!!!............... hmmmm..........ok lets think like this . ....... lollllllllz Shadi say phalay love kuch nahin hota....... app nay kabhi socha hai kay aisay hi love main kiyoon itni sacrifice hoti hai??????......... lets suppose ........ if u love somebody and ur mum doesnot allow u to get married to her.... and some Emotional blackmailing karain.... tou most cases main this so called love ko sacrifice daini per ty hai aur real love with ur immediate relatives just win this war....... lolllllz coz immediate relatives ka love aap kay is love say berh kar hai...... :P aur agar love kay baaad shadi ho bhi gai to....... guys ki nature ka to aap ko pata hi hai..... some rediculous guys tou yahan tak kha daitay hain kay agar Shadi say phalay hum say baat karti thi to auroun say bhi karti hogi eagerly waiting for ur reply :angel: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Choudhry 0 Posted August 5, 2005 Nathan Jee! Now think this way... I know abt my mom( my dad doesn't care, hez like U guys on ur own) If i tell her abt sum girl i wanne marry to, Shez gonna ask me two question 1) her background means "is she virgin", belongs to a respectable family( doesn't means rich or poor) and this stuff 2) Does she pray 5 times a day... We all know if shez my girlfriend it means shez not really religious but still good if she prays rite.... So the way i am thinkin abt love marriage is totally different then the way u r thinking and i blv jub piyar kar hi chukay ho to thori bagawat bhi kar lo.... U no wat may be ur parents gets angry but wo man gain gay, One day they will laykin if u lost ur love u have lost everything. For example if u r my real sis and we got into big fight, its not gonna change the fact abt our realtion, one day we will be bak together but sometimes we dont get bak with our friends after huge fight. So parents to wo apkay raheen gay hi, i think piyar nahi khona chahiay and u can always ask em for forgiveness. ab app dekho I had this gf( real one), my mom knew abt her and she was never beautiful but mom zee never sed anything coz she knew that the girl prays five times a day , goes to religious meeting and bla bla bla......... u were sayin abt guys... U r rite, u r absolutly rite but Sis nathan Agree wid me at this keh saray admi same nahi hotay, we have sum bastards too, I hate em.. I always think of a girl as a phool, yar meri biwi hogi na i will take care of her queens Insha Allah , i was tellin u abt my girlfriend , she left me actually, she had the reason and then she was/is wid sumone else( i dont no) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nathan 0 Posted August 6, 2005 Chaudhry>>>ok Whatever............. :P Now im just quitting it.......... :D just dont want to hurt anyone's feelings,thoughts;point of view or whatever happens it to be anymore(sho Shweeet of me :P ) Neither u can change ma thoughts nor me...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Choudhry 0 Posted August 6, 2005 Nahi yar! no onez here to change anyonez point of view but we r just sharing stuff...... 3 words for u NEVER EVER QUIT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nathan 0 Posted August 6, 2005 uhhuhhhhhhhhhhhhh :angel: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Choudhry 0 Posted August 6, 2005 OKay watever u want Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
