alishaikh 0 Posted August 18, 2002 SALAAAM TO COMMUNITY MEMBERS, MAIRA YAI SAWAL GIRLS AND GUYS DONO SAY HAI KAI SHADI AAPNI PASUND SAY HOONI CAHIYAE YA PARENTS KI PASUND SAY .AUR YAI QUSTION SIRF GUYE SSAY KAI SHADI KI SAHI AGE KYA HAI Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alishaikh 0 Posted August 18, 2002 SALAAAM SHADI JIS KI BHI PASUND SAY KI JAYE RESULT TAU YAHI AATA HAI :( :( :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted August 19, 2002 Salaam Ali You have started a good topic! Meri raiey yehi hai k shadi k mamley mey Parents aur bachon dono ki pasand ko mad e nazar rakh k koiee faisla liya jaiey. Aur yeh zaroori nahi k HAR shadi ka result :( yeh ho... It is a a risk that we all have to take! After all kismet azmaney mey kya harj hai :;): Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Asim 0 Posted August 20, 2002 Salam, It is a little complicated topic but I will try to explain my point. Sometimes it is the parents who decide the fte of their children especially Girls. In this situation they can do nothing but to watch what is there in store for them. This practice is normal in our villages and the under developed areas. I am against this. Sometimes the parents choose their children's life partner and also ask them if they agree with them or not. This way the parent's choose a life partner for their children and also listen to what they have to say. The majority of the people from the higher class prefers and leaves this to their children, they are not actually children but for the parents they are always children. This way their children choose a partner mainlyfor the reason that they had a crush on him/her. They don't realize it and mistakenly take it as Love. Some even marries others to stay with them for a period and then divorce. In Pakistan, I don't know about the other world, most cases of divorce are because of this. The other major cause is haste or not thinking what will happen next. Choosing a life partner is not a child's play. It must be done very carefully after that just leave it to Allah and see what he has in store for you. Well that was just my opinion and I'd love to know your's :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Asim 0 Posted August 20, 2002 6. DON'T GO FOR LOOKS;THEY CAN DECEIVE.DON'T GO FOR WHEALTH;EVEN THAT FADES AWAY.GO FOR SOMEONE WHO MAKES U SMILE BCOZ IT TAKES ONLY A SMILE TO MAKE A DARK DAY SEEM BRIGHT. Hey after posting my reply I found this. You must read the complete topic here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rabbia 0 Posted August 20, 2002 :) hi, asim, shabo+ali, shadi main aap ki+aap ki family i mean ur parents ki pasand zaroori hai kyun k aap k parents aap ko brought up kartay han unka itna haq to hota hai k woh aap k liya sahi life partener talash karain maeray nazdeek asim's suggestion is gr8 and i agree with himaap ki pasand is liya honi chahiya k aap nay zindagi guzarni hoty hai so it dependz on u. shadi ki sahi age woh hi hoty hai jab insaan kisi kabil ho jai :;): aap batao kmaeray say koi agree ya disagree karay .this is a fact rabbia (ash) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alishaikh 0 Posted August 20, 2002 SALAAM TO ALL COMMUNITY MEBERS Ji tau shadi aapni pasund say ya parents ki pasund say yahi topic astart kiya thah mai nay. Aacha laga kai aap logo nay reply kiya. Aur aachi aachi batay kahi. Barhall shadi jis ki bhi marzi say karay hai tau SHADI IS A MISTAKE EVERYONE SHOULD MAKE. Shabo nay sahi kaha hai kai qismut azmanay mai kya hurj hai. Asim ki baatien bhi sahi hai Rabbia nay bhi sahi kaha hai kai parents ki itna tau huq hoona chahiyae kai wo aapni pasund hum par moosalut kar sakay Aapni raiey mai baad mai bataoo ga Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Asim 0 Posted August 22, 2002 Aapni raiey mai baad mai bataoo ga Hey alishaikh, I am waiting for your opinion/reply to this topic. Don't let me and the other community members wait too much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nazish 0 Posted August 24, 2002 salaamz i think shadi dono key marzi he key honsi chahiyay. but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. cuz sometimes a girl/ guy like some other girl/guy which their parents don't approve of. and i know that u should always listen to ur parents. but when we are in love it's hard. and we make some desicions, against will of our parents. but parents needs to understand this too. cuz we wanna someone whom we know and have understanding wid this person so in that case guy/girl should try their best to make their parents listen to them and if not thani guess they gotta do what they gotta go love yaz all naz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kierca7 0 Posted August 24, 2002 Salaam This is a good serious topic ??? . here's my opinion; a lot depends on the culture where the boy/girl have been brought up. If the boy has been raised in a western[more modern]society.He must have a large say in the choice of girl and also so should only get married when he is ready.a boy raised in Pakistan on the other hand should marry who his parents choose and also get married when they say :oo: . the same applies to girls more westernised girls should have some say in the matter while girls from pakistan[example].should respect their parents wishes and marry who ever their parents choose. ??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheikh 0 Posted August 25, 2002 SALAAAM TO COMMUNITY MEMBERS,MAIRA YAI SAWAL GIRLS AND GUYS DONO SAY HAI KAI SHADI AAPNI PASUND SAY HOONI CAHIYAE YA PARENTS KI PASUND SAY .AUR YAI QUSTION SIRF GUYE SSAY KAI SHADI KI SAHI AGE KYA HAI MERE Khayaal Main Toh Bande Ko Shadi Apni Pasand Aur Waldain Ki Razamandi Se Karni Chayie.. ??? Rahi Baat Shadi Ki Saheeh Age Kya Hai? Toh Dost Umar Main Kya Rakha Hai.. Dil Jawan Hona Chayie... Kya Khayaal Hai?? ??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted August 27, 2002 Salaam all Good points raised... I want to elaborate on what K7 has stated... Alot does depend on the individual upbringing of the people concerned however, whether u r in the East or West the children should be consulted before a decision is made about THEIR future. I find your comment......... girls from pakistan[example].should respect their parents wishes and marry who ever their parents choose very narrow minded K7. Why? Why should this be the case just for the girls in Pak and not for your western counterparts??? Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sameer 0 Posted August 27, 2002 hi all, its a good topic sheik sahb!!!! i must say ke shaadi ek aisa rishta hota hai ke agar koi bhi qadam jald baazi mai uthaaya jaye to zindagi bhar pashtaana parta hai...... shaadi mai kisi eik cheez ko ziada imp. nahi deyni chahiye balkey har cheez ko saamney rakhtey huwe yeh faisla karna chahiye. aur in faislo ke liye jahan tak mai sahi samajhta ho0 parents ko ziada experience hota hai aur woh acha decission le saktey hai....... so from my point of view shaadi maa baap ki pasand se hi honi chahiye han that's a diff. thing ke ladki/ladkey ki pasand ko bhi value diya jaye kyounke zindagi usay basar karni hoti hai..... waisey to mujhe itna experience nahi hai jitna aap logo ko hai kyounke maine issey pehley kabhi shaadi nahi ki na ;) bye sameer!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheikh 0 Posted August 27, 2002 waisey to mujhe itna experience nahi hai jitna aap logo ko hai kyounke maine issey pehley kabhi shaadi nahi ki na ;)sameer!!!! Mere Bhai, Main Aap K Khayalaat Se Puri Tarah Itifaq Karta Hoon.. :) Jahan Tak Sawal Hai Experience Ka.. Toh Bare Bahi Aap Aik Chhor Char Shadian Kar K Dekh Lein Experience Wohi Hasil Ho Ga, Jo Faqat Aik Shadi Se.. ??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nazish 0 Posted September 5, 2002 oh hooo so sheikh jee u r not married :D lolz just kidding lovez naz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheikh 0 Posted September 5, 2002 oh hooo so sheikh jee u r not married :D lolz just kidding lovez naz Ji, Yeh "RAAZ" Ki Baat Hai, Aur Raaz Ki Batein Public Forum Par Nahin Batayei Jatein. . . . . :;): Aap Ki Baat Pe Aik Shair Yaad Aa Raha Hai, Moqeh Ki Munasbat Se Toh Nahin Hai, Magar Phir Bhi Umeed Hai K Pasand Aaye Ga. . . Tum Ho Pakistani, Yeh Mujh Se Kaha Aik Mem Ne.. Jab Main Kahra Tha, Holly Wood Main Tor Se... Kaha Main Ne, Aap Ne Pehchana Kesay Mujh Ko.... Kehnay Lagein K Aap Dekhtay Hain, Har Larki Ko Ghor Se..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Waqas 48 Posted September 7, 2002 Ji, Yeh "RAAZ" Ki Baat Hai, Aur Raaz Ki Batein Public Forum Par Nahin Batayei Jatein. . . . . :;): Is main Raaz ki kya baat hai? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheikh 0 Posted September 8, 2002 Ji, Yeh "RAAZ" Ki Baat Hai, Aur Raaz Ki Batein Public Forum Par Nahin Batayei Jatein. . . . . :;): Is main Raaz ki kya baat hai? Ji Aap Ne Mujh Se Kuch Kaha... :;): Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zafri 0 Posted December 15, 2002 Salam 2 All ! Well... Shadi zindagi ka ek important part hai.Every 1 knows that.Baat rahi k apni pasand say yah parents k pasand , tou main sawal yun modify ker data hoon k shadi apni pasand say kerni chahiye jis main parents ki raza mandi bhi shamil ho.Shadi apni pasand say tou samajh main aati hai mager apni pasand k saath parents ki raza kiya important rakhti hai is ko main kuch aisay explain kernay ki koshish karta hoon. Zindagi hamesha nasheb-o-fraz (Up & Down) ka shikar rehti hai.Is ki is up & down ko samajh nay k liye ek umer ki zaroorat perti hoti. Hum nojawano ko is age main zindagi ki reality ki itni samajh nahi hoti jitna k hamaray parents samajhtay hain .Unki nazar hamaray future per hoti hai k hum ko wahan kis situation ko face kerna hoga.So they try to find out some solid "rishtay" for us.lakin woh kabhi kabhi mistake ker jaatay hain k woh hum say harmari pasand nahi poochtay yah yun kahiye k woh inn baton main financial structure dekhtay huwe bhool jaatay hain k apni shadi k baray main hamari kiya ambition ho sakti hain . Ager maa baap apnay experience k saath saath hamari pasand ko bhi samnay rakhien tou main samajh ta hoon k aisi shadi hansi khushi k saath bohat khush-gawaar guzarti hai. On others hands .... yeh baat main sub dosto say bhi kahoon ga k woh bhi apni pasand (love) ko apnay parents k experience k saath share karen k woh iss pasand (love) ko kis point of view say dekhtay hain.Except few parents mostly pay attention to their kids's feeling and also they work together on that issue. Now ..second question...What's the best age to get the marriage ....when u want to sink ur ship in deep sea...lol..no i m just kidding .When we reach full maturity to undersatnd of the importance of the marriage life then we can get the marriage. And Allah knows best Allah Hafiz Zafri Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kierca7 0 Posted December 16, 2002 Salaam Hi Shabo :) you think i am narrow minded because i think westernized kids should have more say in who they marry ??? .It was just my opinion and i stick to it [like i explained] :P .the culture in Pakistan is totally different to here in the uk. ??? no offence intended :;): . I would like to share one of my favourite phrases with you[coolyar]. "When a proud man hears another praised, he feels himself injured" :;): :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted December 16, 2002 Hi K7 You r most definitely entitled to ur opinions... If u read my post of Aug 27 again u will see that the point I deemed "narrow minded" is highlighted... Incase of any misunderstanding I shall re-iterate.. Quote K7 24 Aug 2002 "girls from pakistan[example].should respect their parents wishes and marry who ever their parents choose" . I hope this clears the matter.... and the injury sustained was not too great :P hahaha Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muniba 0 Posted December 16, 2002 Salam 2 all, Shabo i totally agree with u, but in case of girls they ve 2 compromise in every term & condition.they can tell thier will but can not insist thier parents. so i think there is some understanding between parents+a girl+the person whom she is going to marry+ his family. Rubab :;): :;): :;): :;): :;): Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cooooolll 0 Posted December 17, 2002 well.....mmmmmm...50 50...i guess.....and thats the way it should be........obviously parents ki marzi kay bagair to shadi taqreeban na mumkin hai....unless u do a court marriage.....and thats not the way to do it......baat to tab hai na jab aap ki marzi mein aap kay parents ki marzi bhi shamil ho........ab shaadi roz roz to ki nahin ja sakti......zara dhoom dharrakay say shadi ho koee pata chalay...yeh na ho k jee parents nahin maanay to aap nay chup ker shadi ker li.......aur na hi aisa hona chahiye k aik shadi aap ki marzi ki aur doosri parents ki marzi say.......agar aisa ho jaye to phir aap ki shakal kuch aisi dikhnay lagti hai :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Najeeb 0 Posted December 30, 2002 Salam, Shadi karo tow parents ki marzi say (atleast the first one), cause if it goes sour :( you have an alibi and then you can debate the fact that you need another wifeee with your own choice. :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aquarian1 0 Posted January 22, 2004 hello me here again... hmm waqas bhai kiya khyal hai we both should jump in this topic? uve already here i am now... well basically in Pakistan parents mostly parents see if they have close relatives and they like to strenthen the relation more... mom says marry my sis's girl/boy dad says marry my bro/sis' boy/girl... a big problem is parents have lived their life they for sure have experience of their lives... but time changes... their experience was of those times... aray baba zamana badalta hai to new RAVISH ikhtiar kerni perti hai hmm i dont say parents should be totally neglected but thing is if a guy has been arranged married he makes his parents guilty of his bad relation... same do girls do... another problem... girls in pakistan well mostly they throw everything on their parents if they r above 27+ coz they r AFRAID wat will happen, n parents do everything in hurry coz they fear WHAT PEOPLE will say if their girl wont be married, aik farz samajh ker ada ker diya jata hai.... a guy or a girl wen they go out of their home they r not mature but wid tym they get it wats important or wats not... ofkors wen they see others they get an influence... point is (wat i think) a girl or a guy should marry whom he/she want to so that they will be responsible for their life they wont be just blaming others.... i read a post and someone said about love marriage... so problem of love marriage is TOO MUCH expectations... love life is something else and married life is totally diff. if a girl or guy want that love life always thats impossible so the problem starts from here..... thats all for me well for now :) bye Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
