kurios 0 Posted August 10, 2005 (edited) so today i am going to write the joke of my brother who is studying in 2nd class but when this incident was happened then he was in nursery class. once mera bhai jhool l raah tha ke achanak gir gaya aur us ko tang per choot aa gaee i took him to the medical centre and there h was treated after the treatment main us ko ghar le aya aur us se poocha ke bhai mubashir aap ko kya hoa hai tu us ne kaha ke bhai "meri tang main lecture ho gaya hai" aur main hans hans ker........... another is of few days back when i upgraded my pc and put teh new processer in my computer my lil brother was sleeping when he woke up he just askd me " bhai aap ne proffesor laga liya hai" and i just laughed and give him a hugh. :) ik dafa ik choor kahin chori kerne gaya wahan teejori per likha tha ke left side per button hai us ko dabaeen choor ne button dabaya aur alarm baj gaya choor ko police le gaee ab janab adalat main choor se judge ne kaha ke aap apni safai main kuch kehna chahte hain tu choor ne bar udas lehj main kaah ke bas judge sahab dunya bari dhoke baz ho ga hai. ik sahab nihayat hi prhaeez gar aur mutaki the aur loog unhain haji sahab kehte the woh panchoon waqt ki namaz parha kerte the ik din woh namaz perh rahe the ke ik admi ne dosre admi se kaha ke yeh jo banda namaz perh raha hai na yeh bohot mutaqi aur perheez gar hai tu itne main haji sahab namaz toor ker bole main haji bhi hoon. ik proffesor apne dost doctor ke pass aya. doctor dost ne us ki khoob tawazeh ki aur phir khana bhi khilaya aur akhir main shatranj bhi kheli sab kuch kerne ke bad proffesor wapas jane laga tu doctor ne rasman pooch liya ke ghar main sab khairiyat hai tu proffersor ne kaha ooo hoo yaad aya main tu is liye aya that ke meri bevi ko dil ka dora par gaya tha. Edited August 11, 2005 by majid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maha23 0 Posted August 13, 2005 sweet[ur brother] nice joke Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurios 0 Posted August 17, 2005 ik shadi ki taqreeb main dukhan ka pehla mangetar bohot saj dhaj ker aya tu kisi sahab ne poocha ke kya aap dolhe hain tu us sakhs ne jawab diya ke " ji nahin main tu semi finl main knock out ho gaya tha." ik dafa ik ustad ne shagied se poocha ke batao yeh kon sa zamana hai main nakal ker raha hooon woh nakal ker raha hai hum nsksl ker rahee hain tu shagird ne bare aetamad ke sath kaah ke sir yeh imteehanoo ka zamana hai ik miss class main bachoon se sawal pooch rahe theen ke baatoo " woh koon si cheez hai jo ghar main sher ki tarah ati hai aur bahar bakri ki tarah jati hai" tu ik awz aii mere abba ji Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurios 0 Posted August 18, 2005 ik dafa main computer lene gaya tu wahan ik aur banda computer lene aya tha tu us bande ne dukan dar se kaha ke bhai mujhe rangeen display wala computer chahiye yeh sun ker meri hansi nahin ruki aur main side per ho ker hansne lag gaya :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Asim 0 Posted August 19, 2005 Nicxe contributions by Majid and maha23 1) Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c. Tell me an example. Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter. 2) Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself". 3) What is a girl friend? Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends. 4) A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity , Threat) Analysis. He said, my strength is my wife. My weakness is my neighbours wife. Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out. Threat comes when I myself go out 5) Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls . These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Asim 0 Posted August 19, 2005 Once i was in Hafeez Center (the largest computer market in Pakistan, probably in Asia) and one man came with a monitor and he went to a shop keeper who happened to be his friend. he asked the shop keeper "Yar meray paas ye monitor hai .. mujhe games khalnae ke liyae kya kuch dalwaana pare ga " Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurios 0 Posted August 20, 2005 well that was great asim bhai ik baat kahoonh jo maza real life ke jokes main hota hai na woh aam jokes main kam hi milta hai. good effort and thanx for ur appreciation Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted August 23, 2005 salam 2 all nice jokes by all one is from my side Two presidents are talking over coffee at their country club one day.Museveni, of (Uganda), says to Arap Moi (Kenya) "Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid. Do you doubt me? Let me show you." And he called his driver over and said , "Bakamosongo, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." To which Bakamosongo replied, "Yes Sir! Right away Sir!", and he rushed off. The president turned to his pal and said, "See, the moron is brainless." Arap Moi said , "That's nothing. You want to see stupid? Let me show you stupid. He called his driver, "Kiptoon, run home now and check to see if I'm at home." Kiptoon said, "Yes Mzee!! Right away Mzee and ran off. Moi turns smugly to his buddy, "See what I told you? That's my simpleton. Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Bakamosongo said to Kiptoon, "Eh, you know my boss is really stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes...Like he doesn't know that todayis Sunday and the showroom would be closed!. To which Kiptoon replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home... Can't he just use his cellphone to find out? Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaman_Eman 0 Posted August 27, 2005 Once i was in Hafeez Center (the largest computer market in Pakistan, probably in Asia) and one man came with a monitor and he went to a shop keeper who happened to be his friend.he asked the shop keeper "Yar meray paas ye monitor hai .. mujhe games khalnae ke liyae kya kuch dalwaana pare ga Asim>>> realy very funny like.... Customer: "I want to download the Internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?" :D To which Kiptoon replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home... Can't he just use his cellphone to find out? add>>> but ..etnay mushkil mushkil names perh kai meri zubaan ulti ho gai hai Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted August 28, 2005 salam 2 all AMAN EMAN add>>> but ..etnay mushkil mushkil names perh kai meri zubaan ulti ho gai hai check karein kia pata abh seedhi hui ho :P EURO ENGLISH The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter >ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaman_Eman 0 Posted August 29, 2005 Nise post Ad :P ze very hard to read z vhole stuf..astualy my tung vas alrady injured by yur first joke..Ad zat not fair.. u don't knov my present sondition..my vhole muth is sufering pain .Oooo aaaah well z :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurios 0 Posted August 31, 2005 ik dafa ik mendak ne apni kismat ka haal maloom kerne ke liye computer ka button dabaya tu computer ne us ko jawab diya ke tumhari mulakat ik bohot haseen larki se hone wali hai. mendak ne phir computer main sawal feed kiya ke meri us haseen larki se kahan per mulakat hone wali hai talab main, neher ke kinare ya bus stop per. tu computer ne jawab diya ke college ki laboratory main. :) ik dafa ik sahab apni mulazma per ghuse ho rahe the ke us ne begum sahiba ko un ki amad ka waqt kyun bataya. jis per mulazma ne kaha ke qasam le li jiye sahab main ne begum sahiba se kaha tha ke begum sahiba jab sahab aee the tu main nashts banane main itni masroof thi ke waqt dekhne ka mooqa nahin mila. :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted September 1, 2005 salam 2 all majid nice one dear :) Nise post Ad ze very hard to read z vhole stuf..astualy my tung vas alrady injured by yur first joke..Ad zat not fair.. u don't knov my present sondition..my vhole muth is sufering pain .Oooo aaaah well nice try is zaban ka faida tu hua k aap ko euro english asani se agaye n thanx for liking one more for u SMART WOMAN A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis who women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers ONLY: Please scroll down. == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Care fully read above line once again , Still u have't got the point Go Back ,ohhhhhhhh U got it. Samjhay Kay nahin Male is yet better off Perhaps u thought that Male had a Heart attack ten times More than Female Actually The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! How was that? Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaman_Eman 0 Posted September 2, 2005 salam 2 allwell nice try is zaban ka faida tu hua k aap ko euro english asani se agaye n thanx for liking one more for u ....... ................. Regards its me AD 153604[/snapback] jee jee Bilkul mujay pori tarah Euro eng aa gai hai :D .. but AD kiya es new joke ko perh kai hassna be thaa ? :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted September 2, 2005 salam 2 all lagraha hai k euro english agaye hai aur baki english chali gaye hai zahir hai chote dimagh main itna hi aaa hai khair pehle is ko dekhain phir parhain aur phir hansain agar na samajh aye tu mujh se contact karein 14 tabaq roshan hogayeinge ;) Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaman_Eman 0 Posted September 2, 2005 salam 2 alllagraha hai k euro english agaye hai aur baki english chali gaye hai zahir hai chote dimagh main itna hi aaa hai khair pehle is ko dekhain phir parhain aur phir hansain agar na samajh aye tu mujh se contact karein 14 tabaq roshan hogayeinge Regards its me AD jee nahi jee ..mujay nahi perhna ye joke Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted September 4, 2005 salam 2 all hmm acha chalain ghusa chorain ye joke parhain agar samajh na aye tu kisi se parhwalein ya dictionary se dekhlein :P HAVE A BREAK A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. However,the cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there. An hour later.... The man calls his wife at home and asks her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" asked his wife. Frustrated the man said," Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions to reach home!!! Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mehwish 0 Posted September 7, 2005 lollzz 2nd page pay saray joke funny thay :D or Miss Aaman_Eman to bari intelligent hai :D app nay etni jaldee saree EURO Eng sikh lee. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurios 0 Posted September 8, 2005 ik dafa ik bagh ke malik ne ik bache ko aam toorte howe pakar liya aur us se pooocha ke " tumhare abu kahan hain main un ko shikayat lagaoon ga" tu larke ne bari masoomiat se kaha ke woh agle darakht pre charhe hain. :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaman_Eman 0 Posted September 10, 2005 hmm acha chalain ghusa chorain ye joke parhain agar samajh na aye tu kisi se parhwalein ya dictionary se dekhlein ADD ... Oh yes ... :D "Hey Addy (Add)" Add :"Yes?" Aaman said, "You know." :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted September 14, 2005 salam 2 all hmm Aman Eman koi baat nahi ye udhar raha ainda chuka donga filhaal ye parhain A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars." "Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered. The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer." The man asked about the next parrot on the perch. "That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system." Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot. "That one costs 2,000 dollars." "And what does that one do?" the man asked. The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss!!!" Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurios 0 Posted September 20, 2005 Mr. Santa Singh sent his biodata toAmerica to apply for a post in Micrrosoft Corporation, few days later he got this reply: "Dear Mr.Singh, You do not meet our requirements.please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertainedThanks." Santa Singh's joy knew no bounds o recieve such a reply. He arranged a party and when the guets had assembeled he said "bhaiu te bheeno, aap ko yeh jan ker khushi ho gee ke mujhey America main nukri mil gaee hai" everyone was delighted.Santa singh continued."ab main aap logon ko letter bhi hindi main translate kerta chaloon." Dear Mr. Singh---pyare singh sahab you do not meet ---- aap tu milte hi nahin our requirement---- hum ko zarorat hai please do not send any further correspondence----- ab mazeed letter vetter bheejne ki zaroorat nahin hai shall be entertained--- bohot khattir ki jaee gee thanks---- aap ka shukria. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADD 0 Posted September 20, 2005 salam 2 all haha nice one majid keep it up dear Regards its me AD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
