humr@az 0 Posted July 11, 2003 Marriage: Encouragement from a Brother By Iftikhar When I started looking for a wife, my only intention was to find a muslim woman who could help me become a better Muslim. After praying to Allah many times, I came to know that a Muslim brother in my area had an unwed sister. I was told that she was 7 years older than I was, had no college education, and had minor health problems. Despite this, I arranged for a meeting to discuss the possibility of marriage. When I met her, I was impressed by her modesty (she wore a real hijab that covered everything but her face). She was not attractive, nor was she rich. However, at the conclusion of our meeting, I felt comfortable with the fact that she was what I was looking for. After praying Istikhara, I felt confident that she was right for me. Our nikaah was performed only a few weeks later. Oh yeah, this was a Muslim wedding - the kind where the men separated from the women, we didn't have disco music or belly dancers or any other kind of kuffar stuff. There might have been one brother who was NOT wearing Sunnah. We spent most of the time praying, praising Allah, discussing what a great blessing the responsibility of marriage was, etc. I think the total cost of the wedding might have been around US$20.00 (we held it in my brother-in-law's apartment). I had the time of my life!!! Despite the fact that she is very stubborn and argumentative, she is one of the best Muslim women a man could ask for. And I am NOT talking about the way she wakes me up in the middle of the night for tahajjud, the way she covers her face in public, the way she investigates every action that I do, the way she will stop talking to me if I don't read the Qur'an or go to the masjid every day. I am talking about her fear of Allah and love for the prophet Muhammed (SAWS). Not bad for a woman some people called ugly, who has no college education or money. I wouldn't trade this woman for anything in the world. Many times when the discussion of marriage arises, I will hear one brother after another talking about how beautiful and educated they want their dream wives to be. Others will talk of love or family/racial pride. Fools... (with all due respect) In case some of you are confused as to why I am mentioning all of this let me tell you what I know (straight up)... A PIOUS WIFE IS YOUR STRONGEST DEFENSE AGAINST SHAYTAAN Now, Marry a woman for whatever reason you want....... My dua' is with you all. Salamu Alaikum. ***** nice huh??? i liked it veyr much n wanted u guys to read this.. now i wanna ask ya guys why do u want to marry a man or a woman? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted July 14, 2003 :hi: Salaam Humr@az I also received this mail ;) and was much impressed by it... This person sure is thinking straight and Allah is blessing him with the correct attitude towards the current and afterlife.... Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mansoor 0 Posted July 14, 2003 humr@az !! really nice Post :) i think marriages are " preset" in heavens .... i know a HADEESS of Hazrat MUhammad (PBUH) about the subject.. (May allah forgive me if i could not reproduce it in its all meanings ... ) hadeess ka maFhoom yaa hai One should look these things in his prosperous wife 1) She should be more than him in Prcticing ISLAm 2) She should be less than him in wealth n riches 3) she should be beautiful 4) her reproductive ability should be more Soo folks i should say we can take guidence from Islam in a clear n staraight way Regards Masnoor Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimePass 0 Posted July 14, 2003 yaar shadi main barbadi hay ajkal..so chill and drop the idea. but going with this attitude is really appreciable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fati 0 Posted July 16, 2003 u know humraaz. this is the bestest post ever. realistic. a true marriage. but u know being educated is really nice. its essential. as u know awareness of religion and besides religion. both are important. u shud also know other things. thats a splendid post. timepass. u think that shadi is barbadi. perhaps thats y u r doing timepass. a marriage like this one, in which both r sincere cant b failed. best post humarraz. keep it up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
queeno 0 Posted July 16, 2003 It was like ......... VOW !!!!!!!!!! reading the post ...... the best thing I ever read ....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted October 7, 2003 Hey "current" cy members.. what do u think of this post?? I read it and thought this brother was doing a good deed.. but kya reality mey aisay loog hothey hain? Or is it just something we read, admire and forget about bcoz in reality ppl want something more materialistic? Give us ur views and hey lets start a PROPER discussion... Waiting for ur replies :) Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
M.Bilal 0 Posted October 7, 2003 OoOoO Jee Enaa Glann Da Meno Bachey Noo Kee Pta Hey Teyy Toseyy Hee Jandey Ho Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted October 8, 2003 OoOoO Jee Enaa Glann Da Meno Bachey Noo Kee Pta Hey Teyy Toseyy Hee Jandey Ho Thanks for nothing then! Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NaDaN 0 Posted October 8, 2003 wowo...very old topic..!!.. well nice one!!... may ek dam happy happy ho gai kay mansoor nay post ke hay but malom para kay yeah tu nazar ka dhoka tha... :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rukh 25 Posted October 8, 2003 really true or gr8 post ... zaberdast .... and mansoors reply also superb ... her ache bat her achee cheez app ko sirf islam provide kerta hai QAMYABI kai wadai kai sath ..!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sanum 0 Posted October 8, 2003 Hey "current" cy members.. what do u think of this post??I read it and thought this brother was doing a good deed.. but kya reality mey aisay loog hothey hain? Or is it just something we read, admire and forget about bcoz in reality ppl want something more materialistic? Give us ur views and hey lets start a PROPER discussion... Waiting for ur replies :) Sx shabo thanx yar post achi hay.. ab atay hain discussion ki taraf. reality may iska koi tasawor nahi kiyoon k har mother apnay lal ko dua hi yeh dati hay k chand si dulhan hoo meray laal ki.. rishta kartay hovey pehli cheez jaheez aur shakal o sorat dekhi jati hay.koi yeh nahi pochta k larki qurran pak parhi hoee hay ya nahi or NAMAZ bakaedgee say parhti hay ya nahi... ab aap hi bataoo SHABo ajkal hamari society main shadiyaan kiyoon nahi hoo raheen>?kiyoon itni sari larkiyaan unmarried hain.? materialistic aur status consious society hay hamari.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted October 8, 2003 Sanum ur great... Discussion ko continue rakhna koiee aap sey seekhay ;) Well back to the topic, ur rite aaj ki society yeh nahi dekhti k ladki ki Islamic taleem kya hai they want certificates to prove k wo BA, MA, PHD qualified hai k nahi... Heyyy I am not saying k education is a bad thing.. far from it I think education is a fantastic tool that is ours to grasp and mould according to our needs. Obviously ladkey ki maa tho yehi chahay gi k chand jaisi bahoo ho uss ki, iss k saath saath agar wo social status bhi ghar mey ley aiey tho faiyda hee faiyda hai afterall neighbours ka bhi kuch khayal rakhna chahiay!! What u say is rite.. its a materialistic world so the more u have on earth the better u r in the eyes of the ppl... Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sanum 0 Posted October 8, 2003 Sanum ur great... Discussion ko continue rakhna koiee aap sey seekhay ;) Hi dearest shabo thanxxxx wasay kiya yeh compliment tha..?ahem ahem wasay apas ki baat hay SHABo hum jab bhi koi shadi attend kartay hain tu kiya pehlay dulhan ki beauty nahi dekhtay..nobody asks k oski qualification kiya hay aur woh kitni religious hay.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SLLeepyism 0 Posted October 8, 2003 aaye nice topic agar har koi ya poochay ga ka larka kitna religeous hay aur is qualification kia hay to mujh jassay to phir gay kaam sa.aur phir mujh jasoo ki agar shadi nahi ho gi to bacchay kaha sa aaingay aur agar bachay nahi aaingay to phir ma apnay bacho ki shadia kasay karwaonga aur agar maray bacho ki shadi nahi ho gi to ma nana aur dada kasay banonga so ya sub honay ka liya jo jassa hay waisay hi theek hay warna phir moo latka kar bathay raho sub k sub Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NaDaN 0 Posted October 8, 2003 m nice topic going on!!.. han i agree with YOu both Shabo and Sanum!!.. this is totaly bazar situation.. JITN AHAY US PER KOI SHUKER NAHEE KERTA BUS ZIYADA SAY ZIYDA KE LALACH HAY.. WO JASAY BHIPORE HO.. SO SHADI BHI AB BUSINESS BAN GAI HAY!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rythm 0 Posted October 8, 2003 Thanks for nothing then!Sx lolll.. Bilal!! tussi waqai hi bachay ho..? :o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nazish 0 Posted October 8, 2003 Assalamu Alaikum wow Mashallah, it's so nice. u know sometimes it amzed me how ppl say darn this religion is toooooooooooo hard, and gosh we can't do this. but i think Islam is the best, easiest, and true religion anyone can ask for. and the marriage thing this person wrote is soooooooo touching. i wish everyone in this Dunya was like this, world would be such a better place, don't u think? be happy u all and always smile :) love yaz allz Allah Hafiz Naz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fati 0 Posted October 8, 2003 shabo.. v do read such posts. admire them and 4get them... nowadays. a person wont just search for a pious lady. they need the most beautiful and fashionable girl.. and talking about simple marriages. nobody these days like to go in such marriages.. if there is a seperate arrangment. nobody likes it. they say that the people r backward.. if there is no music or dances.. .. o gosh so boring marriage. is this marriage or what.? these r the true comments given by the people... on marriages... much money is spend on entertainment like music... pop singers r invited. dances r being arranged.... u know i like the way of christian marriage. they do it in a church. v shud also arrange a marriage in a mosque.. nikah and then rukhsati from the mosque.. and then few days later valima.. but this is not in our culture! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted October 9, 2003 Sanum ur great... Discussion ko continue rakhna koiee aap sey seekhay ;) Hi dearest shabo thanxxxx wasay kiya yeh compliment tha..?ahem ahem wasay apas ki baat hay SHABo hum jab bhi koi shadi attend kartay hain tu kiya pehlay dulhan ki beauty nahi dekhtay..nobody asks k oski qualification kiya hay aur woh kitni religious hay.. :hi: Hi Sanum Nahi it was NOT a compliment it was ur tareef ;) Haan ji ur rite dulhan ka roop singhar to dekhtey hee hain hum sab uss ki shadi waley din.. magar tareef akhir beautician ko milti hai (k uss ney kitna acha kaam kiya hai!!!) That's what I am saying k yeh sab kehnay aur sunnay wali batein hain.. in pe koiee amal nahi karta hai. Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted October 9, 2003 mujh jasoo ki agar shadi nahi ho gi to bacchay kaha sa aaingay aur agar bachay nahi aaingay to phir ma apnay bacho ki shadia kasay karwaonga aur agar maray bacho ki shadi nahi ho gi to ma nana aur dada kasay banonga Thanks Slleepy for ur input aap ka problem chhota sa hai ji balkey wo problem non existent hai kyun k awam barhaney k barey mey jo aap soch rahay ho wo kaam tho aap sey pehlay BOHOT loog pura kar rahay hain!!! :) Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NaDaN 0 Posted October 9, 2003 is ke wajhay yeah bhi hay kay hum unit ke tarha nahee hain we keep or feeling mostly to our selves and feel terreble for wat ever is happening around us.. bus koi proper hal hum bhi nahee dhondtay!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted October 9, 2003 WO JASAY BHIPORE HO.. SO SHADI BHI AB BUSINESS BAN GAI HAY!! Thanks NaDaN for your comments.. and ur rite this is all treated as a business aisa lagta hai jaisay k walidain apney bachon ki life nahi bana rahay balkey apney janwaron ki sale kar rahay hain.. so sad :( Jis ney zaiyada price laga di un ki deal paki warna... next plz!!! Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shabo 0 Posted October 9, 2003 lolll..Bilal!! tussi waqai hi bachay ho..? :o Sx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
